Arrivederci 2010

Okay, this will be my last post for 2010.

I have to admit, I love New Year's. I don't make resolutions and I don't make lists. They overwhelm me and I rebel against them. It's just in my nature.

But I do sit down on New Year's Eve and list all of the months of the year. Then I write what I can remember happened in each month. When I am finished with this [list], I am able to see all of the things that I have accomplished and all of the situations I have come through. I remember some heart wrenching months and realize that I made it through some things, that at the time, didn't think I would get through.

I am also able to see that I am in a different place because it doesn't always feel like anything has changed.

As I was perusing blogs this morning, I stopped by Meleah's blog, and she is having a hard time coming up with New Year's resolutions. As I was commenting on how I am going to remain the same and not set myself up like that, I realized that this will be the year of self-acceptance for me.

I don't want to beat myself up anymore, I don't want to stress about stupid shit anymore, I just want to enjoy my life and allow myself the natural process of things just as I am and not be afraid. I will do the best I can on a day to day basis. Some days I will be more able than others and that's okay. This is where my New Year's Eve list helps. I can look back through the year and see that I came through everything just fine, as I do every year, and there is NO REASON at all to stress and worry the way that I do.

Worrying and stressing changes nothing. As a matter of fact it makes things worse and much harder than they need to be. Not to mention the fact that it puts everyone around me on edge. That's not very nice to do to people. So, yay for me on the revelation.

Now, I have three weeks left before I go back to school. I just went through all of my scribblings from story ideas and research that I have done throughout the last few years. I looked at what I have so far for my MS and realized I have everything I need. Mostly.

I did nothing but write for almost three years. Granted it wasn't always on the same piece, there is a plethora of stories and articles, and of course time spent getting side tracked with research, but I saw that all I have to do is organize it. (Then edit and re-write and edit and re-write...). And as I started to do that, the ideas just kept coming, and I was of course side tracked from the entire purpose of why I was going through all of this paper; to get the office set up as a bedroom because my in-laws are coming to stay for the weekend.

I don't expect to get this MS put together by the time I go back to school, but it feels good to know there is some semblance of completion around the corner. Or at least completion of a step in this long, long process of writing a book and getting it published.

I have had a pretty full year and I'm glad it's over. But I am also grateful to see what I have learned about myself and that I can take this list, put a flame to it, say thanks, and let it all go.

What have you learned about yourself this past year?

I wish you all a Happy New Year and stay safe.

~ Live Happy

I am absolutely disgusted with our prison system. I am pretty disgusted with many things about this country of barbarians. For being such an arrogant country we sure are uncivilized. Not to mention greedy and power hungry.

Having done some research on prisons in other countries, we should really be ashamed of ourselves. Ashamed that we release these people back into society after abusing them and treating them like animals. I'm not say8ing they don't deserve to be locked up, but what I am saying is that they will eventually be released onto the streets where we walk! Doesn't anyone think about the importance of rehabilitation?

I mean these people are in there because they clearly couldn't live by societal rules and laws. Has anyone ever thought that it might be conducive to implement a program or many, that would teach these people some skills and how to be civilized members of society.

Yeah, yeah, I know, the budget, yattah, yattah, yattah... Bullshit! If we would spend more money on education and rehabilitation, we would have more money in the long run due to less recidivism and more children that are educated and able to live successfully.

What in the hell is the matter with the people running this country? I'm so sick of all the excuses as to why we can't care for our own citizens! And I'm sick of hearing about how much worse other countries are. It's not true! There are many other countries that are well ahead of us and have been for quite some time in caring for their citizens.

I'm also sick and tired of hearing about how there are countries that are so much worse off than we are. Sure there are, but there are many that are much better. Many. And how dare we go into another country and force them to listen to us and do things our way, when we can't even manage our own.

Wrapping it up

January ~ 
February ~
March ~
April ~
May ~
June ~ Took a trip to the boundary waters and learned how to really rough it in the woods.
July ~ Took a trip to the Black River in Missouri. Turned 37.
August ~ Began a new chapter in my life by starting my first semester of five to earn a degree in Paralegal Studies, enrolling full time. My grandmother passed away. My son was arrested.
September ~ The first of many court dates for my son. Loving school and feeling challenged.
October ~
November ~ A good friend of mine passed away the day before Thanksgiving and my grandfather passed away the day after Thanksgiving on my grandmothers birthday. Studied for finals like I've never studied before in my life. Some major financial decisions were made to free us up for more of a savings. We decided to live a little more simple.
December ~ Passed all of my classes. My son was placed on house arrest and 18 months probation, receiving a letter a few days later from the police department written to another police department stating that they were sorry but they couldn't pursue any charges because they had no evidence for the case. My son plead guilty to something he did not do because they told him that if he didn't plead out that day that he would be held in County for a month until the court date. Enrolled in another full time semester that begins in January. Hopefully it's not so hectic this semester so I can concentrate on school. My daughter made the basketball team again this year so I will be looking forward to her games.

I would have liked at least one person to say, "Don't worry, take of of what you have to, I got this."

Paper v. Electronic v. People

It's amazing all the changes that are taking place in the writing world because of the internet.

I do have to agree that it does save our trees to not use so much paper, but I really like having an actual book in my hands when I am reading.

I have also heard about the iPad becoming a student tool. Eventually all of the textbooks are going to be converted to electronic text books and all students will be required to purchase an iPad, but the books will be much cheaper.

The downside for me to E-text books is that when I am studying I find it easier to have everything in front of me with little colored tabs marking what material is where. I like to be able to flip back and forth to find things. On an electronic device you can't do this. Maybe they will eventually come up with a solution to do this but who knows.?

With a book, if you're looking for something you can thumb through until you find it. With an e-book, you have to type in a search term. But if you don't know what you're looking for, you have no way of finding anything without reading every single page that may be available.

I know that publishers are going out of business left and right but new jobs will be created. I mean someone will have to manage all of the internet files in whatever form they may be in. Their jobs will just be done on the computer with less paper surrounding them.

Now, in the court houses going electronic is a fantastic idea because there is so much paper that has to be saved for a thousand years, that would clean up much needed space. It's also more difficult to go through a million files as opposed to going to the computer, typing in a case name and it pops up right away. Brilliant!

But the disadvantage to that is all of this flying all over cyberspace where any half-assed hacker could have access to. Not to mention the constant human error of e-mailing the wrong things to the wrong people.

It also appears to me that people have become socially retarded as a result of all the on-line capability. For instance, I haven't received a bill yet to make a payment. Now call me old fashioned, but I still like to pay my bills by snail mail with a paper check. I just feel safer that way. Call me crazy. So I called the Harley Customer Service Center (which they need to rephrase Customer Service now) and he told me that I could go on line and just pay my bill there. I told him I don't like to do that and he acted so irritated with me that I was even able to get through to him and past the automated bitch. Really??? What is this world coming to?

AND, when I am actually with people face to face, it seems that a majority of them sit there and text message or check their facebook status every 10 seconds. It's seriously like sitting with a crack addict. They are surrounded my people and they would rather make stupid, irrelevant comments back and forth on the internet. Seriously??? Am I that uninteresting that you would rather stare at a computer screen? I know, I know, it's not about me, but for christ sake!

Okay, sorry this turned into a rant, but I feel much better now that I got this off my chest.

What do you guys think about this whole shabang?

~Live Happy