I am side tracked with other things. My self-discipline seems to have gone awry. Another writing project came up and I can't seem to stop myself from writing it. This was the first writing project I started but didn't feel like writing it so I tried to write something else. My first project haunts me on a regular basis. This is why I have decided to give in and go with what needs to be written first, whether I want to or not. It's one of those things where, as I was writing, the question would come up, "What is the purpose of this?" Then I would send myself into a tailspin of many reasons why I shouldn't write it. Well, I've finally decided to just do it. I was able to manage 1600 words on the first day, 8,000 yesterday, and 1500 today so far.
There is another article posted that I had written but for some reason, it's keeps telling me it's missing the content, so as soon as this is corrected, I will post the link here.
The more people that click on my article, the more I get paid. ;) ;) So pass it on.
I have been avoiding telling all of you this, but here goes.
We did not go to Bike Week, Daytona Beach and Key West as we had planned. Before you put your sad faces on for me, it was a decision I made, because financially it would have caused me great distress and more of the no sleep thing. Couldn't have that.
By the way, the sleep is wonderful. We bought a brand new beautiful, luxurious bed made of bamboo and recycled materials. It is the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in. I also took Melatonin for a couple of weeks and wrote many jibberish pieces. I'm still not quite sure what that was all about, but it's over for now. Phew! Okay, back to my road less traveled.
The guy who was going to marry us on the beach in Key West said we have a year to fulfill that commitment before the money is lost. It was a relief to find out that we still had that time. So that lifted my spirits a bit.
I know without a doubt that this is the man I am to spend my life with. This is the man I am to grow and learn with so the getting married thing is just a technicality. I know it will happen and there is no rush. Besides, the weather in the Keys was terrible the week that we had planned on being there. It was cold and windy, so it was a blessing in disguise that it all turned out the way it did.
This was probably one of the most responsible choices I have made in my life, so I did learn something from all of this. I learned that I am not as irresponsible and impulsive as I thought I was. Or maybe it's just a change that took place over time and I had an opportunity to apply it.
When we do make it there to get married on the beach, I'll be sure to post pictures and share our adventures with all of you. Maybe I'll be able to get my five gallon tanks on the bike before we go. (And lose fifteen pounds).
My millions is on the way, so I won't have to worry about this stuff for much longer.
Okay, so, for the last six weeks I have been working with a life coach. Something I have always wanted to do, but would not allow myself the luxury.
As of late, an opportunity was presented to me and I jumped at it. It has been an eye opening experience and it is not for the faint of heart. Or the lazy.
Being willing to take responsibility for our lives and our actions is a must in this process. Being open to suggestion and then applying it is a must (if change is to be made).
It is freeing to know that I am in control of my life, regardless of the past. The past is all an illusion. It's gone. I can change my mind at any time and start over at any moment in my day, no matter what! How frackin' great is that?!
Kellie, at Women's Life Link, has been absolutely wonderful. She has such a kind and gentle voice. I feel no judgment at all when I talk to her. She has helped me in more ways than I thought would be possible. More ways than she probably knows.
I guess this is why they call it a Life Coach. It can be life changing. It has helped me get through some blocks and barriers that I have been struggling with for most of my life. But here's the catch; you only get out of it, what you put into it.
I have realized that I have to be completely honest with her if she is going to give me the direction that I truly need. If I'm not honest, the only person I am hurting is myself. So, it only benefits me to tell the truth.
This is definitely a 50/50 relationship. I give her information, she gives me direction based on that information. I apply the direction that is given to me and then we talk about it on our next scheduled call. Accountability. Yet another wonderful motivator for me.
My attitude has changed, my perception has changed, therefore, my actions change and then my reality changes. Quite simple, but not easy.
If anyone would like to give her website a look, you can find it here.
Holy Crap! I haven't had a good nights sleep in I don't even know how long. I have never experienced anything like this before. I am becoming delirious. I have to say, it's the best 'free' high you can get though. But it is kind of infringing on my ability to produce, well, anything other than a mess.
I am paranoid and jump at things that aren't there. This is worse than my usual state of mind. I have tried almost everything. I go to bed and I am absolutely exhausted. I lay there with a headache and so tired that I can hear the silence pounding in my head with cotton balls stuffed behind my eardrums. My body can barely move but it's buzzing with some type of subtle alien energy.
I try to meditate myself to sleep and sometimes it works, but I wake up after about ten minutes and then the panic will kick in. Over what? Not sure. A wave of heat will suddenly wash over me and I have to get up and pace. I'll go to the laptop but the bright screen makes me want to literally rip my eyeballs out of my face.
Read a book? Sure, that used to make me fall asleep in twenty minutes, now I can pull marathons. When I do fall asleep for the final time, it's not very restful. I feel as if I have been on a week-long binge. Now, for those of you who have not had the fortunate experience of being on a week-long binge, it really sucks ass and you're brain is utter mush. I'm sure most of you have had a hangover though, right? Multiply that by ten. Okay, not really, but it sucks when it goes on for days.
I want to be able to just 'go with' whatever this little phase my body is going through, but I can't sleep past 10am. And when I go to sleep at 5am, that isn't nearly enough sleep for me. Maybe I could do that if it were for a couple of nights, but it's been over a week now and I'm done with this bullshit.
There has been a really cool show on Animal Planet though called Wild Recon. It's been keeping me entertained into the wee hours. Right now it's a show about big cat attacks in South America. Pretty cool.
It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the headaches. The truth is that I hate not being able to control this. I know it will pass, but not in my time. Maybe I should just try pulling an all nighter, getting through the day and then maybe I'll be able to sleep the next night.
Maybe it's the psychological way my body is telling me to finish my first draft already! For Christ Sake! I've been avoiding that like the plague. Poor Shay. She is waiting so patiently for me to finish her story. And she's in the middle of a crisis right now. Real nice.
Oh man, I wish I still smoked. I would sit up all night and smoke and write and write and smoke. It would be glorious. But... that's not gonna happen so I'll just have to write. Isn't there a vice that exists that's not going to give me lung cancer, cirrhosis, an enormous ass, a negative bank account balance, VD or a jail sentence? WTF?
Has this ever happened to any of you? Do tell.
Here's another clip from you tube. This entire movie is one great line. Every scene is phenomenal.
I have received a Love Link from Kellie at Women's Life Link. It came to my inbox about six days ago, but I wanted to wait until today. I'm not a mushy type person but I thought, Hey, There's no better day to post this. Kellie has been supportive and quite helpful in my venture to connect with my muse. She is so kind and I feel nothing but love from her. Her genuine desire to help and connect women is an inspiration. So thank you Kellie. I'm grateful you're in my life.
Here are the five I am sending this link to and why:
Terry~A Writer Of Wrongs: Terry has been very helpful and encouraging to me in my writing endeavor. He is also a great writer himself and I love his blog. His ability to be honest in an encouraging kind of way absolutely amazes me and I admire that in him. Thanks for being there Terry.
DL~Cruising Altitude DL has also been supportive and encouraging when I was having a rough go. He too, is a fabulous writer and his blog is quite entertaining. His ability to see the positive in everything keeps me moving forward and always makes me smile. Thanks DL
Marty Wombacher~The Marty Wombacher Show Aahhh Marty. Marty, Marty, Marty. This guy leads a charmed life. He gets to do what he wants when he wants with whom he wants. Well, we can all do that, but he actually does it. He's a loyal reader and comment-er as well as the previous two. We are of like mind and he makes me laugh.
(I'm starting to feel like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz)
Abby~Abby's Blog: Abby gets the Love Link because she is a brave soul who has the courage to live her dreams. She's 16 years old and has a life of adventure to look forward to. Also, to her parents who have allowed her and encouraged her to follow her heart. Rock On Sister!
T~One Brick Shy: Just another geek girl. She's a hard and dedicated worker. I admire this in anyone who can forge on through the sludge to get to the other side. It appears that we have very similar pasts and some similar trials and tribulations. She is a fantastic writer and has a way of touching your soul with the written word. She is also a technical writer so she has some great tips for computer issues among other things. Thanks for entering T.
So, here's what you do now;
You have received a LOVE LINK, now it's your turn to pass it on. Pick 5 special blog friends/readers/or non-blogging friends to link to and post about in addition to the person who LOVE-LINKED you; don't forget to add this notice to your post. This paragraph links you to Womenslifelink.com (where it all started) because we want to know how far the love spreads and to how many. So, please come and leave a comment to tell us who you are and that you received a LOVE LINK from a friend.
The latter part of that sentence is an oxymoron. No?
The American Dream is just that; a dream.
Why be so limited and unoriginal? So many of us put ourselves inside this box with all of these rules and structure. I say fuck it. Just be who you are, do what makes you happy and everyone around you will be happy because you exude happiness. Happy. Happy. Happy.
Honest Politician?
When we pit good against evil, evil will always prevail if they try to exist in the same room. We can bring an honest man into a group of people that are already jaded by the relentlessness of the system. He may have the intention of making things right and moral. It's not gonna happen. Why? It's not worth the time and effort to explain, because then the truth will be lost. It's just the way it is.
Everyone wants to change the world by campaigning and rounding up groups of people to jump on the train and fight for their cause. The truth to this matter is that when you get a group of people together, it's inevitable that there will be more than one chief. This is when the power struggle begins and the truth is lost.
If we each acted as individuals to do what is right and best for ourselves and our environment, our personal little space, the bigger picture would work itself out. This is how it works. What is right for one of us may not be the right thing for the next guy. This is where we go wrong; Uniformity. Trying to figure out one solution for many different individuals. There is no one best thing for all people.
Yes, we are all connected, but the only way to actually connect is by each of us being our own unique individual selves and doing our part to live out our purpose here. And the way I have to live and the things I need to do that maintain my integrity and authenticity may not be what you need to do to maintain your integrity and authenticity.
There is a basic set of principles that the human race need follow, that's it. That's all.
If you were the last person on the planet, would you still do what you do?
~If you had no friends to call for validation or confirmation, to find an outside opinion, or to impress, would you still do what you do?
This question has to do with the differences between territory and hierarchy. The way I see it, a hierarchy is everyone else's, a chain of command, if you will.
A territory is of one.
When we create from our truest selves, we have to function territorially. We have to do 'it' because we love it or at least because we own it, it's what we are best at. Not to impress others or because it's what sells.
So I ask you this question, If you were the only person on the planet, would you still do what you do?
And when you're finished answering (or just pondering) the question, you can watch this completely unrelated clip. It's ONE of my MANY favorites.
Yay me! I won an award from Terry, the owner of A Writer of Wrongs. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You. Okay, so now this means I have to tell you ten things about myself, in which I have no idea what to tell that I haven't already blabbed all over my blog AAAND I get to give it to six blogger friends. Okay, they might not be exactly 'friends', I don't take that word lightly, but it will be blogs that I think are honest.
1. I really do want to be rich and famous. Really.
I never wanted to be until just recently.
2. I hate committing to anything. If I have to make 'plans' with someone, chances are I'll back out. But if you just call and say, I'm comin' by or let's go (here), I'm in. Especially if it's a spur of the moment road trip.
3. When listening to my iPod, I do sing and dance as if I can. Doesn't everyone?
4. I still have and use a RAZR cell phone. I'm buying my smart phone soon.
5. I loathe conformity, schedules and appointments.
6. I never wear a watch because I refuse to acknowledge the existence of time. It really doesn't exist you know?
7. My dad moved to Thailand because he said that Yasir Arafat's wife contacted him and needed him there immediately for an assignment. This was seven years ago. He's mentally ill. But he believes it all happenin', so it is. Go Dad! Love You!
9. I tend to be honest to a point of pushing people out of my life. I'm not brutal, it's just that the truth is sometimes harsh and I'm not a sugar coater.
10. I dream of taking a trip around and through the country on my Harley, just to stop at all of the coffee shops, quaint, odd stores, have whatever adventure awaits me on the road and meet random people.
I won the Mighty 100 Celebration Giveaway from DL over at Cruising Altitude. He is a fantastic writer and his number of followers is quickly climbing. He has some great ideas and stories. I suggest you hurry up and get on over to his blog.
I just wanted to share this blog with everyone. Abby's Blog. This is the girl who set out to sail the world. I just found this today and am so grateful that I did. Abby is an inspiration to us all. She is following her dreams and fought for the right to do so. She never gave up and is now doing what she wanted to do. I will check her posts everyday in hopes that it will encourage me to keep following my dreams. I will strive to always keep the same innocence and passion that Abby displays.
I went to my neighbors for dinner on Saturday night. She invited three other couples and then there was her and her husband. We were getting together for his 47th birthday. He'd never celebrated with a party for his birthday. K told me that he walked into the kitchen one night and said, I want to have party and this is who I want there and that's it! So we were priviledged enough to be two of the six that were invited.
We had a blast! Each of us is so different and from such different backgrounds that you would think the only other place to get such odd characters together would be a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.
Geraldo is from Brazil and still carries a heavy accent. He has been a music teacher and in a band forever, I guess. He moved here to the states about 35 years ago and met his wife Roberta who is an art teacher on the west side of Chicago. Lester is from Nicaragua and came here about 15 years ago to marry his now wife Kate. She went to Nic for -----, they met and lived together and survived for about a year there. She had to come back to the states and told Lester to come with and marry her. He said it was a tough decision, but he did it. Left his family and country behind in hopes of a better life. Kate was adopted when she was a baby therefore is not sure of her nationality. I just call her the hawaiian eskimo, cause that's what she looks like to me. He just turned 62 years old and is the best friend of Lester
