Back from the Wilderness

This is a long one, but here it is...

As some of you may know we took a trip to the Boundary Waters. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's water (lakes) between Minnesota and the Canadian border. We went to camp, fish, hike and be one with nature. I was skeptical (petrified) at first because everyone made such a big deal about the bears and the wildlife. 

We decided to take the car instead of our motorcycles because we had the teenager with us, which it turns out was for the better anyway...

This is what it did almost all the way there.

When we arrived on Wednesday morning, we met up with the rest of the family, Dave's two brothers and four kids between the two of them. So in all there were nine of us. We met with the couple who was outfitting us and they were wonderful. They remembered Dave and the family from the previous years that they stayed with them.

We were required to watch a video on what to do while we were out in the wilderness and then take a test in order to get a permit to go. Test?! WTF?!

The video was necessary to inform us of what to do when the bears came to our camp site, where to put the fish guts and heads after they were cleaned, what to do with our food while we were away and sleeping, and my favorite part, where and how to go to the latrine.

We passed the test after watching this insightful and educational video and went back to our home base to face our first challenge; loading the canoes with our gear and food. We had four canoes between the nine of us. As we were leaving, Doug, my brother-in-law, couldn't wait to show me what a wolf spider looked like. Unfortunately I have no pictures of this because I was too busy running, screaming and peeing my pants. Yes, I can be quite the sissy. Now I was not only afraid of a bear coming to eat me in the middle of the night, but afraid that I would be swarmed by these cat sized spiders.

After about two hours we pushed off and started to paddle. I had to keep looking back to see why we were going in circles and it turns out Dave would stop paddling to sneak his fishing pole in the water. "What? I was just casting one time to see if I get any bites." Yeah okay, ONE time.

We made it to our first portage where we had to unload and carry the canoes and all of our gear through the woods to the other lake so we could load up the boats and paddle again to the next portage and continue this process until we made it to our camp site. I carried the canoe on the second portage which was a mistake because it was 150 rods and mostly uphill. A rod is the length of a canoe.

Ain't nothin' like a smoke after carrying 800 pounds of gear uphill both ways in eighty degree heat. A cold Corona would have been nice too, but I tend to disappear when the alcohol hits my blood stream, so I had to settle for a Marlboro.

We made it to our camp site at about 7:30 p.m. Now, when I heard camp site, I was thinking camp site. Okay, well, what they really mean is a little piece of land about 8X10 in the middle of some really dense woods with no other human life form. What?! That's where we're staying? We're not all going to fit there! Are you guys out of your minds? Luckily I was with four crafty and quite experienced guys who had done this before. The theme of the week was, "Ah, it'll be fine, don't worry about it." This never seems to quell my fear, but it's the standard comment when I express my concerns.

Well, we did it. We fit all of our tents and this was our home for the next three days.

The view was also quite captivating.

"Ummm, hey guys? Where do we shower?"

"In the lake."

"Are you for serious?!"

"Uuhh, yep."

"Well, okay then, guess I'll be smelly."

"Hey Gina?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to see where you go the bathroom?"

"Sure."

Warning: This picture is not for the faint of heart

I quit drinking all liquids at this point and barely ate. Not to mention that it's all the way up into the woods away from the site. That was actually a good thing because, well, I'm sure you can figure that one out for yourself.

After our meals...

we had to figure out how we were going to hang our bins of food. Did I mention that out of that 800 pounds of gear, half of it was food? This wouldn't have been such a challenging task if any of the trees that we were surrounded by had some low branches, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

The guys spent close to an hour trying to throw a rope with a rock tied to the end of it over a flimsy tree branch that was about fifty feet up.

Once this was finally accomplished the guys got behind the rope and pulled. I was heaving the food up as to make it lighter for it's ascent.

Then I heard a loud crack. I didn't bother to look up,although that would have been the perfect Wiley  Coyote moment, I just let go of the food and ran like hell. It all came down including the guys.

This was what they came up with next...

While the guys were getting the food up in a tree, we would pump water through our little filtering system from the lake, or boil the water. This gave our water a nice smoked mesquite flavor. Mmm, Yum. 

Once the food was up we were able to go play in the waterfall and do some hiking...

and some fishing...

It was quite tasty after Dave marinated it in all of the special seasonings we concocted.

Did I tell you guys we were also lucky enough to experience a massive thunderstorm? It was great! We fashioned a mock gazebo for a gathering place to stay dry. Our tent leaked just a bit from the top though. I guess the fly can't handle that kind of rain, so we had to double tarp it which kept us nice and dry for the entire evening. Not one leak.

Three days after no shower. Luckily this isn't a scratch 'n sniff.

And here's the man after three days of not showering, in all his glory, my Indiana Jones/McGyver

The day finally came when we had to break camp and portage back to our home base. Finally! Woo Hoo! I was exhausted. After all of this, I was ready to see a bear but do you think they could have come to see me? Nope. Not one. I was ready to kick some ass and show no mercy. The scariest/wildest thing I saw was a wolf spider.

I have a hard time just relaxing into the unknown at first but my husband and brother-in-laws are great examples. I would go on any kind of adventure with these guys because they all have patience like I've never experienced and they're so calm, kind and understanding. Each of them have their own unique gifts and combined they're like a crazy cool super hero where anything can be accomplished and no situation is insurmountable. I couldn't have asked for a better family to have the honor of being a part of. They make everything fun and adventurous and they're game for anything at anytime. What more could I ask for?

Over all it was a fantastic trip and a great experience. I'd do it again, but I'd bring close to nothing next time...or almost close to nothing. I am a girl after all. 

Until next time...

~Live Happy 

Story Graveyard

Where do all of the unfinished stories go? Is there a story graveyard? Is there a place of limbo while they're being shelved for another day? All of the characters just sitting there waiting, wondering if we'll come back for them while we work on a fresh new story with new characters. Do they feel betrayed and cheated on? Do we ever get back to them?

Maybe I can take all of my unfinished work and recycle it. Give it some time to marinate while I work on a new project and if nothing comes within an alotted amount of time, I could pass it on to someone else who isn't so close to the story and maybe they could finish it. Seen from a fresh perspective maybe my darlings will have a chance to get out there in the world to be read and learned from.

Where is all of this coming from you ask? Well I'm glad you did.

As I was riding down Sheridan road the other day working on a local motorcycle travel article, Shay popped into my head and morphed into someone completely different. The story just came flowing out of me. It hasn't stopped since Wednesday. I have been writing writing like a mad woman and the new Shay is pretty damn cool. It's nothing I would have expected but it appears she didn't want to be what I wanted her to be. She is strong and confident, not confused and victimized. She has great style and doesn't care what anyone thinks. She doesn't worry about what will happen, she just takes risks and can't wait to see where it takes her. She has total trust in the process of life. And she has this one crazy, cool quirk that I simply love about her but I'll have to do some research on it because I don't know much about it. I'll fill you in on that when the story is a little more developed. I've got pages upon pages of ideas for chapters and I actually have a beginning and an end. I can sum up in a paragraph what it's about and all of the shiny details and back story are brewing as we speak. I guess what I'm doing is considered an outline. Never thought I'd do one of those.

On another note, I'm also taking a trip. I will be going to the Boundary Waters in Minnesota/Canada. I'm torn between  looking forward to it and not looking forward to it because I'm scared of bears and cold weather but I love adventure. But like what's his name said in the movie "Without A Paddle," I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to out run the people I'm with. (Hilarious movie by the way, one of my favorites).

I'll have pictures and hopefully some great adventurous stories to tell. But who knows.

Until next time...

~Live Happy

Where there is great doubt,

there will be great awakening;

small doubt, small awakening,

no doubt, no awakening.

~Zen saying

I think my brain is melting

Happy Tuesday to all my wonderful friends. It is Tuesday right? Well, I think I jinxed myself by talking about my neighbors because since I posted that it's been cold and rainy here. No opportunities to even sit outside in my lush-ness. I have been pent up inside my house for a few days now and not very happy about it.

I do my best to keep my spirits up but the weather really affects me. I just read a blog that had an interesting way to keep her juices flowing and I seriously think I'm going to try it. She listens to music and keeps glow sticks around the house. If you have to ask what the glow sticks are for, let's just skip it.

I have also been reading another blog lately and she breaks writing down into such simple steps that it actually makes it enjoyable to try these new ideas.  The newbies should check it out or maybe those of you that are looking for something new.

I have started to kind of revise my WIP only because I became stuck. Stuck for too long. I felt that I was far enough through to go back to the beginning to do some editing and revising. Besides, what did I have to lose? It has helped to get me excited again and I've changed things up just a bit. I swear it feels like this thing is never going to be finished.But I will persevere no matter.

Yesterday was a blow off. I had nothing. I mean n-o-t-h-i-n-g! So I decided to paint. I had to force myself through the resistance. I am so glad I did though because I love what I did to the box yesterday. And as a result I got a well spring of ideas. Unfortunately not for writing but enough to finish this piece.

I'm finding this is usually what happens to me. I get excited and things are flowing and I am able to write and write and write. Then...I run out ink or something. And then I check my e-mails obsessively to see if anyone has sent me anything new, or I check to see if anyone critiqued my chapter, or to see if I have any new followers and when I find nothing, I get a tad bummed. My head can take me to strange and daunting places sometimes. I'm just sayin'.

I am also reading piles upon piles of books. I'm reading to read, but I'm also reading to learn about structure. This was suggested to me by a fellow blogger and probably my best internet friend (Terry), so I have been making notes in my books and highlighting like crazy. Oh well, I guess it can't be fun all the time...

The Neighbors

I love to sit outside and work, especially now that it's gorgeous and my garden is in place and the trees are trimmed. But here's the downfall of having neighbors that you actually have a relationship with. First of all, I don't like them seeing me like this because I don't shower until about 2:30 before Dave gets home and I wear my pajamas most of the time to work from home here. I fear that my neighbors will think I'm really just some lush who kicks 'em back all day.

Now, they all know I'm writing a book. They know I work from home, but I don't think they grasp the full scope of a groove for us writers. As they shouldn't. It wouldn't be so bad if they just waved or said a quick "Hello, how ya doin'." But this isn't the case here in Wildwood. I find myself hiding from the neighbors during a weekday as to avoid an hour long conversation. The guy to the left of me is like eighty-five years old and as wonderful as he is, I tire quickly of our little chats. He can barely see and is somewhat hard of hearing, but quite the spunky, savvy little man none the less. His wife is ill and he does his best to take care of her and nurse her to wellness. I adore them both, but avoid them at all costs during the week.

My neighbor on the other side of me is Korean and has a hard time speaking English, which is fine with me. We communicate pretty well. She is always bringing me lettuce and tomatoes from her garden and giving me tips on how to tend to my vegetables. She's very knowledgeable in this area. She goes into the lot that lies between her house and mine. It's empty and the people who own it don't come by to take care it, so we, the community, do what we can to maintain it. The Korean neighbor puts on her little straw hat and gardening gloves, grabs her basket and goes out to the lot to pick wild flowers for salad or tea or something. You would think she's in a vast field out in the country somewhere the way she sets out to do her daily tasks of picking berries. She then comes to me handing me what looks like a nasty weed and says, "Here, you eat." I squinch up face and say, "Eat it?" She shakes her head and says, "Yea, you put in bowl and eat on lettuce," as she goes through the motions of putting something to your lips and eating. I say okay and try to walk away. But she insists on standing there, looking in my garden and asks me what is growing. "Mostly weeds," I tell her. She says, "Oh, not good, you pull." Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it...or not. "Okay," I tell her and walk away quickly because I was just in a groove. I'm dreading going back to the computer because I have completely lost my train of thought and the emotion that was driving me.

And then...going out to get the mail is like a recon mission. I have to peek out the windows to make sure no one is out there and open the door to look around even further down the road and almost run to the end of the driveway and back without it looking like I'm a mental patient that is trying to escape.

I'm friends with the across the street neighbors too. And not just one of them, all of them, for at least five houses in a row. Not only that, but I'm still in my lush attire. Do I really need to go get the mail you ask? Well, yes, some days I do because I am probably waiting for a book that I ordered on line or some unnecessary part for my bike.

But in all, it's a pretty glorious and charmed life, I must say. There are so many good things that outweigh this one minor hindrance, so I'm not complaining, I'm just sayin'.

There is definitely a book in here somewhere. This neighborhood is the perfect place to be written about.

~Live Happy

Working From Home

I love to sit outside and work, especially now that it's gorgeous and my garden is in place and the trees are trimmed. But here's the downfall of having neighbors that you actually have a relationship with. First of all, I don't like them seeing me like this because I don't shower until about 2:30 before Dave gets home and I wear my pajamas most of the time to work from home here. I fear that my neighbors will think I'm really just some lush who kicks 'em back all day. This is what I look like for most of the day. Seriously. With my pasty white skin and dark circles under my eyes, thanks to my Italian inheritance.


Now, they all know I'm writing a book. They know I work from home, but I don't think they grasp the full scope of a groove for us writers. As they shouldn't. It wouldn't be so bad if they just waved or said a quick "Hello, how ya doin'." But this isn't the case. I find myself hiding from the neighbors during a weekday as to avoid an hour long conversation. The guy to the left of me is like eighty-five years old and as wonderful as he is, I tire quickly of our little chats. He can barely see and is somewhat hard of hearing, but quite the spunky, savvy little man none the less. His wife is ill and he does his best to take care of her and nurse her to wellness. I adore them both, but avoid them at all costs during the week.

My neighbor on the other side of me is Korean and has a hard time speaking English, which is fine with me. We communicate pretty well. She is always bringing me lettuce and tomatoes from her garden and giving me tips on how to tend to my vegetables. She's very knowledgeable in this area. She goes into the lot that lies between her house and mine. It's empty and the people who own it don't come by to take care it, so we, the community do what we can to maintain it. The Korean neighbor puts on her little straw hat , puts on her little gardening gloves, grabs her basket and goes out to the lot to pick wild flowers for salad or tea or something. You would think she's in a vast field the way she sets out to do her daily tasks of picking berries. She then comes to me handing me what looks like a nasty weed and says, "Here, you eat." I squinch up face and say, "Eat it?" She shakes her head and says, "Yea, you put in bowl and eat," as she go through the motions of putting something to your lips and eating. I say okay and try to walk away. But she insists on standing there and looking in my garden and asking me what is growing. "Mostly weeds," I tell her. She says, "Oh, not good, you pull." Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it...or not. "Okay," I tell her and walk away quickly because I was just in a groove. I'm dreading going back to the computer because I have completely lost my train of thought and the emotion that was driving me.

Going out to get the mail is like a recon mission. I have to peek out the windows and make sure no one is out there and open the door to look around even further down the road and almost run to the end of the driveway and back without it looking like I'm trying to escape. I'm friends with the across the street neighbors too. And not just one of them, all of them, for at least five houses in a row. Not only that, but I'm still in my lush attire. Do I really need to go get the mail you ask? Well, yes, some days I do because I am probably waiting for a book that I ordered on line or some unnecessary part for my bike.

30 Days of Commitment

I have put myself on a thirty day plan with help from my coach, in writing out a list of five goals that I have for myself to see some sort of physical manifestation. I have found a common denominator to be that of money, finance and business. This is one area of my life that has always been lacking. And guess what? I'm the problem. I'm the one who has been standing in my own way. I want to change this. I really do believe that we can be what ever we want to be regardless of where we came from. Although, I also believe it is of utmost importance to remember where I have come from. That being said, I have had to do alot of inside work in order to change my beliefs about myself and what I deserve and I hope that I'm ready for this commitment. 

All of these goals are written loosely. I am just not the personality type to really conform to a strict set of guidelines. But I do need something to look at, work toward and gauge my progress.

Becoming a part of this writing group has given me a new found sense of enthusiasm. The fact that people are reading what I have written and helping me to better that which will be my book. Not to mention, being able to read others works in progress is also a great tool for me to learn from. 

~I am committing to writing/posting a chapter a week to my writers group for critique.

~I am committing to finishing this box that I am painting to be ready for sale.

~I will continue to write and submit articles, but at least one a week.

~I am to research a freelance company so that I can find regular and steady work.

~I would also like to reach 100 followers here.

Simple and obtainable I believe.  And it starts today, June 1st, 2010.

And as promised, here's me as a blond.

~Live Happy

Just a thought...

Yesterday as I was riding the shovel (that's my motorcycle) down Sheridan Road, a long, winding, beautiful road that runs parallel with Lake Michigan and runs all the way into the city of Chicago, I had a revelation. A revelation that there is something out there.

But I also came to the realization that "it" isn't working with me, I have to work with "it". It doesn't work for me either. "It's" just there, waiting patiently for me to show up and take action, think positively and be kind. Through this, I will build momentum.

It's like sitting there in front of a big blank canvas. It doesn't matter how long I sit there and stare at it, it will still be a blank canvas offering nothing. It doesn't matter how much I talk about doing it, pray that it will get done, or will it to be a beautiful piece of art, it will still be a blank canvas.

I have everything I need to make it colorful and expressive; paints, paintbrushes, water, a palette and the canvas. Without me, these things will just sit there. Lifeless. Blank.
 
Until I physically engage with the tools around me and pick up the brushes, dip them in the paint and apply it to the canvas, it will remain a blank canvas. I have to do the work. I have to smear the paint. Then I have something to share.

I know, I know, you're all like, Duuuhh...but I already told you, I'm a little slow sometimes.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that little thought with you. That's it that's all.

~Live Happy

One Shoe

Hellloo??? Where do these come from? How do they get there?

Have you ever been a passenger in a car gazing out the window and off to the side of the road you see a shoe? Where in the hell did that shoe come from? I mean, it's not like you see one, maybe two shoes on the side of the road in a lifetime, you see them all the time. And I say 'you' because I know that you know exactly what I'm talking about. Now how weird is that?

I can understand a flip flop here or there, but I see gym shoes-high tops no less, dress shoes, slippers, all kinds of shoes on the side of the road. And it's just one! WTF?

Was a couple fighting in the car and Sally took off her shoe and decided to start wailing on her boyfriend? Did he then get the shoe from her and whip it out the window?
I know that when people get hit by cars they get knocked out of their shoes, but this is way too many and there's only one!

Was someone fleeing from the FBI and needed to de-clothe? (It's a word now.) If so, why aren't their clothes strewn about trailing behind the lonely sole? Where is the other damn shoe? Are that many people throwing out just one shoe? They can't possibly be losing them. Wouldn't you notice if you were walking down the street and your shoe fell off? A high top can't just fall off.

Is there some kind of shoe protest going on that I don't know about?

Please tell me I'm not the only one who wonders about this. You must have conversations about the damn shoe with your people when you pass a single sole on the side of the road.

Someone please tell me what this is all about so I can sleep at night. Share with me your wisdom and insight, and if you don't know the answer, just make shit up. Even if you do know, just make shit up anyway.

Hey! I know! We can collect them and do this:

Okay now, I'd like to give a quick shout out to my pals who have been so encouraging and supportive. Okay, maybe it won't be short...but I strongly suggest you go visit these blogs if you haven't already.

Terry over at A Writer of Wrongs. I have had the privilege of reading his first novel that will be published soon, I just know it will. I get to say that I have an original copy of the manuscript before it was published even though he's revised it already. He is a great writer. He has the ability to capture you and keep you wanting more. AND he has really pushed and encouraged me to continue with my own dreams. He has a way of telling you the truth without being harsh or offending. Something I could only dream of being able to do. He pushes on even when he doesn't want to and I find that quite inspiring. Thanks for listening to my sniveling and whining.

Meleah at Momma Mia, Mea Culpa has a knack for telling you all about her little adventures out in the world. She makes me laugh every time and she has such a wonderful family and shares about her journey with them. She is an inspiration to Do Things Differently in order to change your life for the better. I can't wait to meet you Mel.

Then there's Marty. He's doing a 365 day bar crawl. He finds some interesting characters and great bars. It's summer time and he's in New York. So if you want to know of the cool places you can visit while you're there get over to his blog and take a look. Let's not have him destroy his liver in vain. Oh. And he's got some pretty entertaining and funny books out there.

Dana at Confessions of a Random Chick happens to tickle my fancy. She's pretty funny and I can relate to all of her randomness. She has published a book recently called Stupid Poetry. YAY Dana! (Yes, I bought it).
 
Last but not least DL at Cruising Altitude. He's having a contest called THIS IS SPARTA-A 300 Celebration. The prizes are incredible and he never requires alot from his followers. The contest is over at the end of May so get over there, follow and comment. His new goal is to have a follower from every state in the U.S. and at least one from every country. So go help out a fellow blogger who has much to offer and is also very talented.

Love you guys.

~Live Happy

Let's start a crit group of our own

Megan Rebekah's The Write Stuff has a great idea for a crit group. I think we should follow suit because I really need some help and accountability.
We could have a private blog where we post our stuff and crtique each others work. We could set deadlines, maybe pick a day of the week to post. Then everyone can meet once a year to go to a writers conference.
I need some more input on all of this though.

What do you guys think? Who's in? I'm totally serious about this. Either comment here or e-mail me and let me know of any ideas and who would like to do this with me.

~Live Happy

My Muse Is Not Happy With Me

My muse has left the building. He's fed up with my lack of being able to go with his flow. He threw his banana peel at me as he slammed the door behind him. I begged him not to go but he didn't care. He said he'd come back and check on me in few days to see if I'm ready to stop sniveling and get to work. So what did I do? I immediately got to work and made a huge decision that I've been hemming and hawing about for years now. I'm going blond! Yep, you heard me, that's what I decided to do.

I got to work immediately. I watched endless you tube videos of teenage girls going from dark to platinum. I learned a bit about the trends that are going on right now too. Could be some good material in there for my WIP or even a future book but for now back to going blond. I really wanted platinum just to see what it would look like. Most of these girls all had the same exact directions and advice on how to go about it and what products to use so I figured, well, there must be something to this. So I went to Sally's Beauty Supply.

It took me three days, two boxes of color, two bleachings, two tonings and a hair cut. What am I left with you ask? Yes, I still have hair. It held up pretty well considering the torture I put it through. But after each process I did a deep conditioning reconstructing treatment so I think that helped. That was my idea. ;) My hair is almost white with some slight yellowish tint. No. You're not getting pictures, use your imagination!

My hairdresser was not happy with me. I told her to shut her mouth, I thought I did a pretty good job, just cut my hair. I'll give it a couple of weeks to heal and then I'll do the final bleaching, until then I'll just have to get some great new trendy hats. I've always wanted to do a hat thing. Maybe you'll get pictures then.

I just want you to know, I feel refreshed and ready to get back together with my muse.
I think I hear him coming in the door. Oh, he won't even recognize me. I can't wait 'til he sees what I've done with our time apart. I hope he likes my hair.

~Live Happy

P.S. I did get about 3,000 words on paper today. Maybe I'll be able to use five of them if I'm lucky.

GEMS Video

This is a video that Mary J. Blige, Sinead O'Connor and Martha B put together for an organization called GEMS, an organization that empowers, educates and mentors women and children that have been commercially sexually exploited or domestically trafficked.

GEMS Mission Statement:

GEMS is a non-profit organization that helps and educates women and children that have been victims of human trafficking.

The name of the song; This Is To Mother You.
You can watch the video here.
Or Here.
There is a picture of me and my daughter at the end. It's the last picture they show.

Just wanted to share this with you because it's something I'm passionate about.  Thanks for checking it out.

~Live Happy

I'm Married!

We did it! We jumped over the broom. Literally.

We got married on Monday, May 10th, the anniversary of our first date five years ago. We didn't know it was a first date until after the fact.

A little over five years ago Dave and I were introduced through a mutual friend. His nick name at the time was Harley Davidson Dave because of his love for riding and building motorcycles. I had called him a few months after we were introduced because I was looking for a used motorcycle. It took some time but he approached me on Mother's Day at Route 66 drag strip, we were both there for the events going on that day. He told me he knew of a motorcycle that would be perfect for me. Of course my response was, "How much is it?"
His reply was, "It's free." I said "shut up", he said "no I'm serious" and this is how the conversation went for a minute.

That Tuesday (May 10) he picked me up at my house on his bike and we rode all the way out to Wildwood to look at this bike. It was in great condition but it was a Kawasaki. Not what I wanted, but it was free so how could I resist?! This was supposed to be the end and he would take me home.

He made a phone call and  turned to me and said, "Well, my brother's making ribs at his house, do you want to go?"
"Umm, okay, where does he live?"
"Lake Geneva."
It was the most beautiful spring day and I love Lake Geneva and ribs, so I figured 'what the hell.'

We took a ride around the neighborhood that we were currently in and I fell in love with the houses, the people, the lake...There were people out jogging and walking their dogs, their children, etc... It seemed like one of those perfect little villages. I felt a sense of community as we rode down all of the winding roads and could smell all of the flowers blooming. It was the perfect day. I made a comment that this is exactly the kind of neighborhood I would love to live in.

We went to his brothers and it was perfect. All of Dave's nieces and nephews were fabulous and the sunset was amazing that night. Dave and I haven't left each others side ever since. We both talked about how it would only be a summer fling and then came fall and then came winter and so on. A year and a month later we bought a house in that wonderful neighborhood. It was everything I expected and more. I have made great friends with our neighbors and we have dinners together and all sorts of things.

Dave and I were going to get married at the court house and call it a day, but the neighbors wouldn't allow that to happen. They hooked us up with this oh-so-wonderful minister that was willing to perform the ceremony that Dave and I had written and stay true to our beliefs, not hers. The neighbors, our friends, all took a part in bringing this together. One of them brought all the food, the other ordered the cake and desserts, one of them video taped it and made us a beautiful wedding dvd, Dave's mom brought a ton of beautiful flowers in pots so that I could keep them and plant them in our yard. It was the most amazing celebration and the way everyone came together made it that much more special. I am still in awe at how fantastic everyone was.

I had no idea that people like this existed. They have restored my faith in humankind. We have all made plans to organize sports games and trips for all of us. Ultimate frisbee, volleyball, canoeing, kayaking, etc...
We have already reserved a lodge in Missouri on the Black River in the Ozarks for a week in the summer. We're doing Jaws in the park Memorial weekend on our lake on a huge projection screen and getting the whole neighborhood together. We are taking classes and learning how to manage a community organic garden so we can have tasty veggies all summer long.

I have to say, a little kindness goes such a long way. We have all had our own experiences in our lives, but I don't feel judged by these people and they are not judged by me. It is more than I could have ever thought to ask for.

And now for some  pictures...

We are walking to the lake to get married. Walking with the minister are our friends Susan and Steve.

This is Dave's Mom. She has an abundance of amazingness.

Here we are getting married.

Here we are jumping over a broom crossed with a sword.

The broom represents sweeping and cleaning up, leaving the past behind and starting with a clean slate. 

The sword represents power and personal responsibility.

My wonderful, beautiful, perfect children.

I just can't seem to take a normal picture, EVER!

Making it legal.

Okay, I won't bore you with anymore pictures. I wish you were there.

So, Dave and I want to thank everyone but I have no idea what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions that are reasonably priced?

Five Questions

Thank you Terry  for tagging me. It will help bring me out of that dreadful place I was in.

Five questions with five answers each, then choosing five people to pass it on to.
Warning: I am quite the boring person so read at your own risk. Make sure you have some synthetic energy handy.

Where were you five years ago?

~ Going on my first date with Dave saying it was just a summer fling
~ Working as a painter, painting and restoring homes
~ Finishing up what seemed to be an endless cycle from a four year psychotic stalker
~ Obsessing about writing a book wanting to be a writer
~ Having dinners every Sunday at my house with tons of recovering addicts, in which everyone got their turn to bring a dinner and cook for everyone

Where would you like to be in five years?

~ A published author drawing from my never ending well of creativity working on more books
~ Living in Italy
~ Running a fun business that benefits people and brings them together
~ Running a foundation for single mothers and children to give them an opportunity at a good education and quality of life. (It all starts with the kids)
~ Traveling with Dave on our motorcycles

What is on your to-do list today?

~ Call the lady reverend to marry Dave and I on Monday
~ Pay my bills
~ E-mail Terry my overview of his novel (I finished it three days ago)
~ Work out
~ Get back to working on my book (and off the pity-pot because I've now got a ring around my ass)


What snacks do you enjoy?

~ Baby spinach, tomato, green pepper and onions, dressed in olive-oil, balsamic vinegar, basil, salt and pepper
~ Edimame with plenty o' salt
~ Cottage cheese
~ Crescent rolls baked with German bakers chocolate sprinkled with coconut
~ Chocolate fondue with strawberries, cherries and bananas

What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?
~ Set up accounts for my children
~ Open a place of business for people to network and have good time and open Dave's bike shop
~ Start a singe mom foundation to insure the best possible life for them and their children, making sure that education is readily available to them
~ Buy a home in Italy with a vineyard, write and travel
~ I would have my Harley completely worked over into tip top shape and of course whatever Dave wants.  Oh. And I would have a house boat to travel the ocean at my leisure and catch really big fish. I love the ocean

I know that's more than five but that's the way it is.

Tagging

Meleah ~ Mama Mia Mea Culpa

Dana ~ Random Chick

Hannah ~ Musings of a Palindrome

Laura ~ Thoughts of a Career Woman

Kellie ~ Womens Life Link

Thank you guys for your encouragement and support saving me from my momentary lapse of out of character insanity. I love you guys.

Letting go and being grateful

I know it's been a while. Last week I took the time to distance myself from writing. Lately I have been questioning what I am meant to do. I won't bore you with the story of my life, but I used to believe that I could achieve my dreams if I tried hard enough. Two years ago I decided to commit myself fully to my dreams. I grew tired of working job after job that stole my soul. I have many certifications and licenses but no 'real' degree. I hated school while growing up and I couldn't fathom the idea of another four years of the same thing. Especially repeating alot of the classes that I had taken for twelve years of my life. It seemed pointless, senseless and a huge waste of time and money to take math, english, science and any of the gen ed. classes. It also seemed pointless to go to classes that didn't pertain to the field. I still feel this way. I was a young single mother and didn't have all that extra time and money to obtain a degree.


Now that my children are pretty much self-sufficient and have their own lives I decided to take the time to chase my dream. I was done having a job just to pay the bills and survive. To me that is not living. It has been two years since I made that decision active. I was the frog that actually jumped off of the log. The first year was alot of research and learning. This last year has been spent putting myself out there, making myself available and writing everyday. I have struggled but taken all the action that I possibly can and it is proving to be unfruitful. I am out of time, money and self-esteem.

Last week I took a break from writing as I said earlier. I still read because I love reading but I took care of the spring cleaning and built some flower boxes and bought some new lovely tropical plants for the yard. Money I truly didn't have to spend mind you but it was worth it. I heaved piles of dirt and river rock all day Saturday and it was wonderful. I have been running everyday on the treadmill and reading while doing so. It's amazing how that passes the time. I have prayed and meditated endlessly all week hoping something would come to me, some answers about what I am supposed to be doing. I journal every morning and walk my dog everyday. I get my children where they need to go and encourage them to follow their dreams.


As I did the things I needed to do last week I thought that I might be inspired or something might come to me through the back door. It didn't. Before I decided to take this break I was seriously questioning what I am doing. I have come to the realization that I  have a great life. I have two beautiful healthy children, I am about to marry the best man I have ever known in my life and I have a beautiful home and a motorcycle I have always wanted. I don't have many close friends by choice because I attract people that aren't capable of being honest and loyal, two qualities that I have and am very adamant about. I am also a firm believer in practicing what I preach. I don't ever suggest to anyone anything I haven't done or am not doing myself. I don't share about anything I have no experience with. So as I was encouraging my kids to follow their dreams and telling them they can do anything or be anything they want, I had to put that into action in my own life.

This has proven to be fruitless thus far. I also believe that if I am on the path to what I was meant to do that things will fall into place and opportunities will start to come. This has not happened and I think that two years is a long time to put effort into something with no return. Yes, I love writing, but simply loving writing doesn't pay the bills. All the years that I worked a 'real' job I did attempt to write on the side but it didn't allow much time for all of the other joys in my life so I put the writing away until two years ago. Working a forty hour a week job and then writing during my free time wasn't an option for me. Some people would then say, "Then I guess writing isn't that important to you." Well, then I guess not.

I was a hopeless junkie ten years ago when I decided I wanted to change my life. I got clean and got to work on myself. As I have progressed and matured I started to believe that I deserved to achieve my dreams. I began to dream and have long term goals. I started to believe it was possible to change the course of my life. I am easy to encourage because I am quite gullible.  I am also very proactive in my life's mission to become more of what I am.

After the way I have lived my life in the past, I have more than I deserve right now. I guess it's somewhat arrogant to think that I could actually love what I do and make a decent living at it. If I got what I deserved, I'd probably be dead. So I am working on accepting what I have and just being grateful for that. Things have not fallen into place and no opportunities have arose, so I am afraid that I will have to go back to a 'real' job and let go of my dreams.


When my kids point out the eight gray hairs that I have acquired recently, I tell them that I love my gray hair. They look at me as if I am an alien from another planet. I leave it at that with them but I know the truth and the truth is that I never thought I would make it to an age where I could actually have gray hair. Well, I have made it and that will have to be enough. I have a nice life. So what if I have to work for someone else helping them to achieve their dreams and goals. At least I am giving something back. 

I love the connections I have found here via the internet and I love doing this blog thing. Unfortunately I have not found the direction that I need to keep me going and moving forward in this endeavor.


I still plan on maintaining my blog here, I love you guys too much to leave and we'll see what happens. Hopefully I don't lose too many of you.