I have been reflecting on some recent behavior of mine and I have come to the conclusion that I am best suited to "do something" only if I want to. Not because I expect or hope for something in return. I have found it especially damaging to my self when I do something and expect the same in return (i.e., telling someone where I am going and when I'll be back and then actually be back at that time, if I am going to be late I call and let someone know, being where I say I will be when I say I will be there, etc...). I believe that these are all common courtesies, but not everyone believes that. The most important thing for me is to not take their actions personally.
I have also found it more peaceful and sane to say something once or ask for something once and then leave it alone! If the other person does not want to give what I have asked for then I need to accept that or move on; but it is never wise to ask again. They heard us the first time.
If we accept people just the way they are then we can accept ourselves just they way we are. We cannot change people. People will change if they want to and even then it is a difficult task.
If we do not like someones behavior, we don't have to have them in our lives. But to expect them to change to make us more comfortable is not a right that we reserve.
If you ask someone for something and they give it willingly and cheerfully, give thanks and appreciate it.
I am more comfortable being who I am when I allow others to be who they are.
You have expressed the subject of changing people and/or yourself very well. To truly learn this small but gigantic lesson and practice it is an accomplishment at any age, but it usually takes a lifetime, and you are young enough for it to make a difference to those in your life. I am reminded of
ReplyDeleteKahill Gibran's book, The Profit, one that I have loved for years.