Arrivederci 2010

Okay, this will be my last post for 2010.

I have to admit, I love New Year's. I don't make resolutions and I don't make lists. They overwhelm me and I rebel against them. It's just in my nature.

But I do sit down on New Year's Eve and list all of the months of the year. Then I write what I can remember happened in each month. When I am finished with this [list], I am able to see all of the things that I have accomplished and all of the situations I have come through. I remember some heart wrenching months and realize that I made it through some things, that at the time, didn't think I would get through.

I am also able to see that I am in a different place because it doesn't always feel like anything has changed.

As I was perusing blogs this morning, I stopped by Meleah's blog, and she is having a hard time coming up with New Year's resolutions. As I was commenting on how I am going to remain the same and not set myself up like that, I realized that this will be the year of self-acceptance for me.

I don't want to beat myself up anymore, I don't want to stress about stupid shit anymore, I just want to enjoy my life and allow myself the natural process of things just as I am and not be afraid. I will do the best I can on a day to day basis. Some days I will be more able than others and that's okay. This is where my New Year's Eve list helps. I can look back through the year and see that I came through everything just fine, as I do every year, and there is NO REASON at all to stress and worry the way that I do.

Worrying and stressing changes nothing. As a matter of fact it makes things worse and much harder than they need to be. Not to mention the fact that it puts everyone around me on edge. That's not very nice to do to people. So, yay for me on the revelation.

Now, I have three weeks left before I go back to school. I just went through all of my scribblings from story ideas and research that I have done throughout the last few years. I looked at what I have so far for my MS and realized I have everything I need. Mostly.

I did nothing but write for almost three years. Granted it wasn't always on the same piece, there is a plethora of stories and articles, and of course time spent getting side tracked with research, but I saw that all I have to do is organize it. (Then edit and re-write and edit and re-write...). And as I started to do that, the ideas just kept coming, and I was of course side tracked from the entire purpose of why I was going through all of this paper; to get the office set up as a bedroom because my in-laws are coming to stay for the weekend.

I don't expect to get this MS put together by the time I go back to school, but it feels good to know there is some semblance of completion around the corner. Or at least completion of a step in this long, long process of writing a book and getting it published.

I have had a pretty full year and I'm glad it's over. But I am also grateful to see what I have learned about myself and that I can take this list, put a flame to it, say thanks, and let it all go.

What have you learned about yourself this past year?

I wish you all a Happy New Year and stay safe.

~ Live Happy

I am absolutely disgusted with our prison system. I am pretty disgusted with many things about this country of barbarians. For being such an arrogant country we sure are uncivilized. Not to mention greedy and power hungry.

Having done some research on prisons in other countries, we should really be ashamed of ourselves. Ashamed that we release these people back into society after abusing them and treating them like animals. I'm not say8ing they don't deserve to be locked up, but what I am saying is that they will eventually be released onto the streets where we walk! Doesn't anyone think about the importance of rehabilitation?

I mean these people are in there because they clearly couldn't live by societal rules and laws. Has anyone ever thought that it might be conducive to implement a program or many, that would teach these people some skills and how to be civilized members of society.

Yeah, yeah, I know, the budget, yattah, yattah, yattah... Bullshit! If we would spend more money on education and rehabilitation, we would have more money in the long run due to less recidivism and more children that are educated and able to live successfully.

What in the hell is the matter with the people running this country? I'm so sick of all the excuses as to why we can't care for our own citizens! And I'm sick of hearing about how much worse other countries are. It's not true! There are many other countries that are well ahead of us and have been for quite some time in caring for their citizens.

I'm also sick and tired of hearing about how there are countries that are so much worse off than we are. Sure there are, but there are many that are much better. Many. And how dare we go into another country and force them to listen to us and do things our way, when we can't even manage our own.

Wrapping it up

January ~ 
February ~
March ~
April ~
May ~
June ~ Took a trip to the boundary waters and learned how to really rough it in the woods.
July ~ Took a trip to the Black River in Missouri. Turned 37.
August ~ Began a new chapter in my life by starting my first semester of five to earn a degree in Paralegal Studies, enrolling full time. My grandmother passed away. My son was arrested.
September ~ The first of many court dates for my son. Loving school and feeling challenged.
October ~
November ~ A good friend of mine passed away the day before Thanksgiving and my grandfather passed away the day after Thanksgiving on my grandmothers birthday. Studied for finals like I've never studied before in my life. Some major financial decisions were made to free us up for more of a savings. We decided to live a little more simple.
December ~ Passed all of my classes. My son was placed on house arrest and 18 months probation, receiving a letter a few days later from the police department written to another police department stating that they were sorry but they couldn't pursue any charges because they had no evidence for the case. My son plead guilty to something he did not do because they told him that if he didn't plead out that day that he would be held in County for a month until the court date. Enrolled in another full time semester that begins in January. Hopefully it's not so hectic this semester so I can concentrate on school. My daughter made the basketball team again this year so I will be looking forward to her games.

I would have liked at least one person to say, "Don't worry, take of of what you have to, I got this."

Paper v. Electronic v. People

It's amazing all the changes that are taking place in the writing world because of the internet.

I do have to agree that it does save our trees to not use so much paper, but I really like having an actual book in my hands when I am reading.

I have also heard about the iPad becoming a student tool. Eventually all of the textbooks are going to be converted to electronic text books and all students will be required to purchase an iPad, but the books will be much cheaper.

The downside for me to E-text books is that when I am studying I find it easier to have everything in front of me with little colored tabs marking what material is where. I like to be able to flip back and forth to find things. On an electronic device you can't do this. Maybe they will eventually come up with a solution to do this but who knows.?

With a book, if you're looking for something you can thumb through until you find it. With an e-book, you have to type in a search term. But if you don't know what you're looking for, you have no way of finding anything without reading every single page that may be available.

I know that publishers are going out of business left and right but new jobs will be created. I mean someone will have to manage all of the internet files in whatever form they may be in. Their jobs will just be done on the computer with less paper surrounding them.

Now, in the court houses going electronic is a fantastic idea because there is so much paper that has to be saved for a thousand years, that would clean up much needed space. It's also more difficult to go through a million files as opposed to going to the computer, typing in a case name and it pops up right away. Brilliant!

But the disadvantage to that is all of this flying all over cyberspace where any half-assed hacker could have access to. Not to mention the constant human error of e-mailing the wrong things to the wrong people.

It also appears to me that people have become socially retarded as a result of all the on-line capability. For instance, I haven't received a bill yet to make a payment. Now call me old fashioned, but I still like to pay my bills by snail mail with a paper check. I just feel safer that way. Call me crazy. So I called the Harley Customer Service Center (which they need to rephrase Customer Service now) and he told me that I could go on line and just pay my bill there. I told him I don't like to do that and he acted so irritated with me that I was even able to get through to him and past the automated bitch. Really??? What is this world coming to?

AND, when I am actually with people face to face, it seems that a majority of them sit there and text message or check their facebook status every 10 seconds. It's seriously like sitting with a crack addict. They are surrounded my people and they would rather make stupid, irrelevant comments back and forth on the internet. Seriously??? Am I that uninteresting that you would rather stare at a computer screen? I know, I know, it's not about me, but for christ sake!

Okay, sorry this turned into a rant, but I feel much better now that I got this off my chest.

What do you guys think about this whole shabang?

~Live Happy

Study, Study, Study...

Hi guys! Checking in once again. How is everyone? I would like everyone to know that I have been pounding away at the keyboard writing my arse off. But sadly, it hasn't been on my book. I have been required to write an article every week for my English Comp. class in addition to an essay each month. I am currently working on my last one. It's a literary analysis essay and I have never read more short stories in my life than I am now. I also have a 15 page dissertation due in less than a month for my psychology class and the the topic is serial killers. Ooooo, I'm looking forward to this one.

Although this hasn't been preferred writing material, I have learned a lot in the past few months. Not saying my writing is any better, but my mind is. There is something to be said for ignorance though. When I don't know the rules, I tend to be more carefree and uninhibited. Once I know the rules, I get somewhat paralyzed and tend to over analyze everything, question everything and think for everyone else. And the worst thing of all is, once you know something, you can't not know. But I am writing, writing, writing.

My semester ends in the middle of December and I will have an entire month off before the next semester begins, so hopefully I will be more available here. I miss this terribly. I stop by your blogs and read what's going on and it's great to see that mostly everyone is still up and running.

Reading is something I have been doing a lot of lately too. I am reading a few books that I had missed in high school. I was busy doing other things so I'm playing catch up now. I have never read To Kill A Mockingbird so I thought I'd give it a whirl. I know it may disappoint and shock a few of you (okay, most of you) to know that I have never read this fine piece of literature, but I'm doing it now, so please stop throwing tomatoes at me. Next on the list is George Orwell's 1984.

If anyone has short story suggestions for me to do my literary essay on, I would love to hear from you. If not, I'd love to hear from you anyway.

In my free time, I am going to the courthouse to sit in on murder cases going on in the neighborhood.  It's not only good to do since I will be a lawyer's right hand woman in the near future, but it has given me some great character ideas and story lines that I promise to share with you eventually. By the way, just in case you guys didn't know, justice is so unjust sometimes and logic is not logical. Go figure.

~Live Happy

Hey guys! Just wanted to check in with everyone. I have been studying and writing away.

My reason for this post is to share some information with you on how much is spent for Illinois to have the death penalty still in effect. These are the things that my life is consumed with right now seeing as I am studying law and having to write a ton of articles and essays for my English class.

I can also see how this bit of information can be helpful for those of you that are writing anything that has to do with how the state spends their money, how much is spent, or any type of criminal activity in your MS.

There are also links to reports and stuff like that.

It's Me Again

Hello again, my loyal blogosphere friends.
Since my last post I have been hard at work trying to figure out this whole school thing. Schedule, homework, studying, tests, kids, husband, finances, free time...ya know, that whole chestnut.

I took on four classes, which makes me a full time student. I didn't think four classes was a big deal, I thought it would be a breeze. Well, let me tell you, it's much harder than I thought it would be. College is different than high school, not that I was ever present in high school, but none the less, it's different.

I have taken tons and tons of classes over the years. As most of you know, I have been a licensed esthetician, a licensed EMT and went halfway through medic school and took on-line writing courses, but taking classes to get an actual degree is a whole different ball game. I love, love, love it though.

As I sit in my classes, I realize how absolutely backwards I have lived my life. I'm okay with it, don't get me wrong, but man A LOT of these classes would have been helpful before I had kids. Like my Logic class for instance; learning about all the different types of arguments that exist would have been a tremendous help while my son was growing up. How to be logic, how to reason and how to be heard. But to be honest, this form of logic makes no sense in the real world, but it's fun. 

When I started school, I took a break from writing and reading all together, well, except for my academic writing class, and academic writing is entirely different from writing articles and books. There's commas galore! It's ridiculous. And you have to treat your readers like complete idiots. Absurd! But, I wasn't sure if I would ever get the feeling back to want to finish "my book".

Every time I come to my adored 'A Muse In My Pocket', I would feel guilty, as if I should be studying or something, so that's what I would end up doing. Like right now, I really should be learning about conversions, obversions and contrapositions. And if anyone out there knows anything about logic, please let me know, I could use some help. But, I have seen you guys continue to come and comment even though I haven't posted in a hundred years and it kept everything looming up front, so thank you, thank you, thank you.

What actually prompted me to come here and finally post was a book written by Ethan Hawke called Ash Wednesday. I was reading through the excerpts that they post on Amazon and it brought back everything that I had been doing before I started school. My mind started reeling with all the things I want to write. I felt excited about it and willing to pick up the pen again.

So, I was eating my Entenmann's chocolate frosted donut with a cup of coffee warming up in the microwave and the feeling of wanting to write again overwhelmed me. It felt possible all of a sudden to write my book while I'm in school. I know that I have had that choice all along, but it actually felt obtainable and like a great idea.

I also know that I have missed you guys terribly. I miss our *conversations* and reading and commenting on all of your blogs, I miss knowing what's really going on with everyone.

I apologize for this rough draft of a post and the fact that it may not make a whole lot of sense or be very interesting for that matter. It's not even close to everything I want to tell you guys, but it's a start. I'll fill you in little by little as to not bore you with an excruciatingly long post. But seriously, I have to study a bit before the anxiety eats a hole through my stomach. I just wanted to get something up here and to let you guys know I'm alive, well and back.

~Live Happy

You deserve an explanation, really, you do

I understand that many of you may have given up on me and I completely understand. I hope you can forgive my absence and come back as I had to undergo a major surgery. A delicate procedure in which my head had to be removed from my ass.

It requires total seclusion and darkness as the light can be blinding at first. ;)

I came to yet another realization that I wasn't getting out nearly enough and I found myself wondering why opportunities weren't being presented to me. I was putting in so much effort and trying so hard, but I was doing it all from behind the keyboard in cyberspace.

There is something to be said for actual face to face communication with humans and getting out in the world. I had to put down the laptop and the cell phone and start mingling with the people again.The only company I had for a long time was myself and after a while my thoughts can get quite bleak and the inspiration and passion runs dry when I have nothing to feed off of.

I love getting out and watching people and talking with people. Any people, especially the homeless. They are so interesting and it's amazing to hear about the life they used to have and it's so hard to imagine that they themselves at one time had a Harley and a home and a family and a job, but shit happens and now all they care about is getting thirty-seven cents and a smoke. Something shifted that made them feel hopeless and the downhill trek started with their thoughts. 

I stopped seeing opportunities because my expectations got out of control. For instance, I would see a dime on the ground and I wouldn't pick it up because it wasn't enough. I needed more than a dime to help me out. And I figured someone else could use it more than me. With that kind of attitude, that's exactly what happened. Someone else would eventually pass by, pick it up and now they have the luck and the gratitude. And the dime. And really, I did need it, that's why it was there.

I started to form these visions in my head of what I wanted and made lists of things that I'd like in my future. I was so intent on those things and my expectations grew bigger than my house, so much so that I lost sight of the fact that I love not knowing. I love just enjoying each day and whatever it has to bring. I like surprises. I enjoy things much more when I have no idea formed because I like the unexpected. I am spontaneous by nature.

I stopped seeing the little things because I became obsessed with the big things and forgot that the little things lead to the big things. I became drained and empty and it felt as if my life was spinning out of control, and it was. I couldn't see what was happening because I was too focused. I know that might sound strange to some of you but I ended up with tunnel vision as a result. I was like those horses you see on the road with the blinders on. They can only see what's in front of them. Their peripheral vision is taken from them. They can see nothing except what lies straight ahead. Well, that's not good for me. I miss too much. That's where all the action is, on the sidelines in our peripheral vision.

This is what I have come to. I have taken the scary step of enrolling full time in school to get my degree. It haunts me regularly not to have a degree. I have no idea how I am going to afford it but I'll never find out until I try. I know that when we open ourselves up to possibilities, the possibilities come. Maybe not the way we want them to, maybe it will just be a dime on the street, but I can tell you from now on, I'm picking it up.

I've also realized that I used to rely on this cliche, Just Show Up. Just show up and opportunities may present themselves. Well, it's not just showing up. We have to show up with willingness, open mindedness and a good attitude. If we just show up and were not open to all possibilities, chances are we will miss something great. If we show up with an idea of what we want to get out of something, we may miss a different opportunity that we weren't even expecting.


I love the little things, I love saying yes to things that weren't expected, I like taking risks and trying something new. I've lost sight of all of this and become rigid and un~fun. I'm ready to enjoy the simple stuff again.

This does not mean that I'm quitting writing. I love writing and I will continue to do so. I love the relationships that have come into my life as a result of this blog. But there may be a possibility that I will have to financially care for my kids well into their adult lives. Well, one of my kids anyway. And college for them is going to be quite expensive so I need a financial back up.

I never got a degree because I've never had the money or the time. I was always too busy just working any job that would pay the bills and taking care of my kids. Now I have the time, not the money but the time. I could use the excuse forever that I don't have the money, but with that attitude I will prove myself right and I'll never have the money.Besides, I'm really excited about going back to school and getting and actual degree in a specialized study. I feel like a little kid.

So here goes, I'll jump off the cliff and build my wings on the way down.

~Live Happy

Ship High In Transit

This is in no way my words. I received this in an e-mail from my father-in-law. He's always sending me fun little e-mails like this. Thanks CR.

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. 

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by- product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. 
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM! 

 Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. 
After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term 'Ship High In Transit' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane. 

 Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. 

 

So as far as I'm concerned, it's not really swearing.  

 

As I did research on this silly topic I discovered that there are many myths about the origin of this word, but I thought it was quite creative and wanted to share it with you. 

 

Suffice it to say, this is a load of shit. ;)

 

~Live Happy

Random Topic Tuesday on Wednesday~Habeas Corpus

Habeas Corpus (Latin for you should have the body) is the name of a legal action or writ by means of which detainees can seek relief from unlawful imprisonment. With that being said, I would like to remind you that this is not a right against unlawful arrest, but a right to be released from imprisonment after an arrest. Resisting arrest is a crime. You can only uphold Habeas Corpus after you have been detained.

To me, it always seems that guilty until proven innocent is the way it really is. If you are a suspect you are detained until you're innocence can be proven. If that's not the way it works can someone please fill me in. 

After seeing a movie last night I had a revelation about our government, so I pounded away at the computer this morning doing research on many of the ways that we Americans have had to fight against our own government for our freedoms and fundamental rights.(This is all related, just stick with me here).

Some of these wars were fought to gain our freedom and it was clear that this is what these wars were about. There was no confusion to some wars as to what we were really fighting for. Once the wars start to become unclear as to why they are being fought, it is no longer about the Americans freedom, but is then over a need to control and have power. Since we have "earned" our right to be free, our battles have been against our own government to keep our freedom and fundamental rights as American citizens. I am doing research so I can present the facts on a later post.

The American Revolutionary War allowed the United States to gain it's independence.

The Civil War between the North and South, abolished slavery and united this country as one.

World War I A war that had nothing to do with us originally and then Britian, France and Russia asked us to get involved and most Americans were against this but the government went ahead anyway.

World War II Originally Germany invaded Poland and somehow spilled onto America.

When we go into a country declaring war on them because they won't give us something that they have, is that morally right?

Let's see an example on smaller scale:
Your little sister wants something you have. You won't let her have it. And you really have no valid reason for it, except you just don't want to. Does that give the little sister the right to then go into your room and take it anyway? The little sister has justified it because she really needed it, but does that make it right?

I just don't understand how killing people will bring about positive change. (oxymoron)
It seems to me that we have many issues to resolve as a country within itself. Is it condusive to America to focus so much on what everyone else is doing?

Two movies that I recommend are American History X and Pirate Radio. When watching these movies, look at the bigger picture. Tell me what you think.

Break

I apologize for not being here. I'm taking a much needed break. I'll be back posting again next week sometime. Hope all is well with my blogger friends. ;)

The Lost Generation

Random Topic Tuesday~History of Voodoo In New Orleans

In hopes of inspiring our muses or keeping them motivated I have decided to start a Random Topic Tuesday.
I'll pick a random topic and provide information and then you can take it and run with it however you like. Maybe it could be a trait you can add to your characters, back story, a scene setting or maybe it will spark other ideas for you and your muse. Or it could just be something enjoyable and informative for you to come here and read. Bring your muse with you whether they come willingly or you have to drag them kicking and screaming. Enjoy. ;)



Vodou is religion, culture, heritage and philosophy. It is a way of life and a way of dealing with life. It is art, medicine, language, music, dance, justice, storytelling, power and ritual.

There is a long history of Voodoo dating back to Christopher Columbus. It originated in regions of Africa before the Europeans started the slave trade, but it really came to fruition when there was forced immigration of African slaves that allowed for it's development. But I'm telling you how it was brought to Louisiana.

In the research I have done, I found that Voodoo in New Orleans started in the early 1700's when the colony of Louisiana was not yet stable. A majority of slaves were brought over from Benin, West Africa and according to a census that was done, the ratio of African slaves to Europeans was more than two to one, which allowed the culture to maintain a prominent position in the slave community. They had a vast knowledge of herbs, poisons, and the ritual creation of charms and amulets. They had their religious beliefs, cultural practices and language. These all became elements of Louisiana Voodoo.

The African culture was preserved because only a few number of white settlers were allowed the ownership  of slaves. In 1807 the Embargo Act ended all slave imports to Louisiana and there were laws prohibiting separation of families. Any child under the age of fourteen was sold along with both parents.The high mortality rate of slaves created a bond and kinship with the survivors of the slave community, which resulted in a strong African culture and spirituality that thrived in French Creole culture.

Acceptance of African belief allowed them to incorporate Catholic practices into Louisiana Voodoo.
Slaves had the belief in spirits which is central to Voodoo in Louisiana. The spirits preside over matters such as family, love, justice and everyday life situations. Once French Creole replaced native African languages, the spirits were no longer called by their original African names, but by the names of Catholic Saints. Many practices from the Catholic traditions were integrated into what is known as today's New Orleans Voodoo.

Voodoo Ritual

Voodoo queens became fundamental figures to Voodoo during the 1800's in the United States. The queens conducted ceremonial meetings and ritual dances and also earned an income by allocating charms, amulets and extraordinary powders to cure ailments, grant desires, and confuse or ruin someone's enemy. 

Marie Laveau was the most noted Queen of New Orleans in the 1830's. She was known for her goodness and kind acts. She never turned anyone away who needed help for the better. She would visit the sick and heal them. She served as an oracle that guided private rituals behind her cottage on St. Ann Street of the New Orleans French Quarter. Marie was Catholic and encouraged those who sought her direction to attend Catholic Mass. She is remembered for her skill and compassion for the less fortunate.

 Portrait of Marie Laveau

Marie Laveau died June 16, 1881 on a Wednesday. Visitors go to her tomb to ask favors and leave pound cake across the street with a statue of St. Expedite who is believed to expedite the favors requested of Marie. St. Expedite symbolizes a spirit that rests between life and death. Marie's tomb has more visitors than that of Elvis Presley. She is not yet considered a Saint but there is a movement to have her canonized.

Once New Orleans became a tourist destination true Voodoo went underground during the 1830's. Hexing and sticking pins into dolls became a twisted version of Hollywood's perception that fueled people's misconstrued beliefs about the religion. At around the same time, those that wanted to thrive from these misconceptions started businesses and charging money for  fake potions, powders and Gris-gris, which a true Voodoo follower would never do. I had a hard time finding the actual origin of Gris-gris but today they are
small cloth bags containing herbs, oils, stones, small bones, hair and nails, pieces of cloth soaked with perspiration and/or other personal items gathered under the directions of a god for the protection of the owner.

 Marie Laveau's House of Voodoo

Louisiana is an orally traditional religion therefore there is no sacred book or canon to follow. It evolves and changes with time in order to adapt to it's surroundings. Louisiana Voodoo is a melange of beliefs combining elements of African, European, Indian and Roman Catholicism.

Those who follow Voodoo believe in one God and multiple inferior but powerful spirits that handle matters of daily life. The core God does not interfere with with someone's daily life or spirits that preside over daily life. These spiritual forces which are now named after Saints interject in the lives of those that believe in them. A connection can be achieved through dance, music, singing, and the use of snakes, which represents Legba, who governs the threshold of the spiritual world. This is Voodoo's main conduit to all others.

Legba Symbol

The serpent represents healing knowledge and connection between heaven and earth. The spirits of ancestors can also intervene in individual lives of followers.

Today, the main focus of Louisiana Voodoo is to serve others and influence the outcome of life events through a connection with ancestors, spirit and nature. A ritual that is held anywhere other than behind closed doors is considered disrespectful to the spirits and not a "true ritual". Voodoo is used to cure anxiety, addictions, depression, loneliness and other life crippling ailments, helping the hungry, the sick and the poor.

Well, I guess that wraps up the first Random Topic Tuesday.

Until next time

~Live Happy

/http://hereholdmymind.blogspot.com/JJ @ Here, Hold My Mind

To focus or not to focus?

Make your vision blurry.

What appears to be nothing is really something if you stop focusing so much.

While I was on my trip, I noticed something strange. As I was doing other things on this trip like keeping my heart from crashing through my chest from my own paranoia of a bear sneaking up on me while I was on the latrine, little side thoughts from the corner of my brain would get through.

Thoughts of high class hookers and rodeo riders. A man unable to stop himself from reading his fiances journal because it's sitting there on the table taunting him while he eats breakfast.

But I couldn't quite pay attention to these thoughts because I was more preoccupied with my terror for this bear that didn't exist. The thoughts and visions just kept flooding my skull.

What I realized was my muse really likes to fuck with me and likes to play while I'm not paying attention because as soon as I started to focus on these ideas that were coming, they stopped.

It's like one of those illusion pictures that you can't look directly at because you won't see the picture that is hidden in there. You have to almost cross your eyes and NOT FOCUS on the picture in order to see the picture. But once you've seen it, you can't not see it. It's there. It's clear. But you had to ignore it for it to come to you.

I guess it all kind of makes sense now. I remember before I made the decision to write, ideas were abundant. They came all the time. I saw possibility in everything I encountered. Movies, music, books, nature, conversations with people, ear hustling on other people's conversations in the Starbuck's, people watching, all of it.  I had ideas and stories. I could lay awake at night for hours playing out an entire novel in my head that I made up as I went along. This wasn't my intention, it would just happen.

Now that my intention is to write, it seems impossible to even come up with an idea for a blog post. So I will try this new method and ignore my muse. 

But I have to tell you, a strange thing happened the other day. I had jotted down the ideas that came to me while we were out in the wilderness.

Shay's best friend is a high class hooker, but she's also a professional rodeo rider. Crazy, I know. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out where I could find a rodeo show around here to watch.

Well, the family and I were going to a frisbee golf course to play and we turned the wrong way. We drove for a long time. I was looking at all the cool houses and subdivision signs because sometimes they're funny and inspire ideas. Out of nowhere there was this big white sign that said, Championship Rodeo. It gave the place, the dates and a phone number to call for more info. I couldn't believe it! We turned around so I could write the info down and then went back the right way to our frisbee golf course.

My luck is changing, I thought. And I've been writing and putting notes together since.

I lost the fisbee golf game by the way. I totally suck at throwing one of those damn disks, but we had fun.

And one more thing, just to hold myself accountable, I was thinking about doing a Random Topic Tuesday, where I pick a random topic and give all the information I found on it. I figure it might help with ideas for writing, character traits, scenes, places, etc...

What do you think about that? I could use some feedback. Honest feedback. And maybe some ideas for random topics that you'd like to see.

Until next time
~Live Happy

Random Topic Tuesday

In hopes of inspiring our muses or keeping them motivated I have decided to start a Random Topic Tuesday.
I'll pick a random topic and provide information and then you can take it and run with it however you like. Maybe it could be a trait you can add to your characters, back story, a scene setting or maybe it will spark other ideas for you and your muse. Or it could just be something enjoyable and informative for you to come here and read. Bring your muse with you whether they come willingly or you have to drag them kicking and screaming.

Today's random Tuesday topic is going to be:

(Change Words) http://paganwiccan.about.com/od/sacredplaces/p/LeyLines.htm?nl=1

Ley Lines - Magical Energy of the Earth

By Patti Wigington, About.com Guide

See More About:

• sacred places
• ley lines

Some people believe that magical lines connect sacred places around the world.

Image © Paul Piebinga/Getty Images

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Ley lines were first suggested to the general public by an amateur archaeologist named Alfred Watkins in the early 1920s. Watkins was out wandering around one day in Herefordshire and noticed that many of the local footpaths connected the surrounding hilltops in a straight line. After looking a map, he saw a pattern of alignment. He posited that in ancient times, Britain had been crossed by a network of straight travel routes, using various hilltops and other physical features as landmarks, needed in order to navigate the once densely-forested countryside. Watkins' ideas weren't exactly new. Some fifty years before Watkins, an archaeologist named William Henry Black suggested that geometric lines connected monuments all over western Europe. The idea of ley lines as magical, mystical alignments is a fairly modern one. One school of thought believes that these lines carry positive or negative energy. It is also believed that where two or more lines converge, you have a place of great power and energy. It is believed that many well-known sacred sites, such as Stonehenge, Glastonbury Tor, Sedona and Machu Picchu sit at the convergence of several lines. There are a number of academics who dismiss the concept of ley lines, pointing out that geographic alignment doesn’t necessarily make the connection magical. After all, the shortest distance between two points is always a straight line, so it would make sense for some of these places to be connected by a straight path. On the other hand, when our ancestors were navigating over rivers, around forests, and up hills, a straight line might not have actually been the best path to follow. It is also possible that because of the sheer number of ancient sites in Britain, that the "alignments" are simply chance coincidence.

RANDOM TOPICS FOR BLOG

Pirates
Serial Killers
Hats
Famous Women/History
Airplanes
Capoeira/Martail Arts
Different Culture Rituals
VooDoo
History of New Orleans
Assassins
Nina Simone http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124276539
Guns
Knives
Weapons
Flowers
Writers
Different topics in the 1920's Go to this link and pick one for the week.

Sweating the small stuff

My Garmin (GPS) was stolen from the glove box of my car at some wee hours this morning. I really had no reaction what so ever. I just thought, Aw, well that kind of sucks because how in the hell am I going to find my way around now? 

Later, it dawned on me that I barely flinched at this news. Some stranger had gone into my vehicle that was parked in the driveway of my home and had stolen my stuff. Expensive stuff. Why is this not a big deal to me?

I pondered the fact that I hadn't reacted and had to laugh at myself because here's what thoughts came next.

If my husband were to use a human bath towel to dry the dog after a bath I would totally flip my shit. I would pace the house ranting, about how many times I've told him that the bath towels are for people ONLY and even if I hadn't told him that a bazillion times already, that it's just common sense not to use our bath towels for the dog. And I could do this for a good long time.

I sweat the small stuff! Regularly. The big stuff is like, whatever. Why is that? Is the big stuff just too overwhelming? Or do I instinctively know that I really have absolutely no control over the big stuff? There's nothing I can do about it so I immediately let it go?

Here are some examples:

Small stuff: Husband takes a wrong turn and we get lost for a nano second and there is no time frame in which we need to be somewhere.   ME: Flippin' my shit.

Big stuff: We're driving down the road doing sixty miles and hour on a main road and the hood suddenly flies up because husband forgot to latch it and he has to hang out the window to see so we can pull off to the side of the road safely.   ME: Sitting in the passengers seat calmly until we get to the side of the road. I get out of the truck bent over in a fit of laughter barely able to catch my breath.



Small stuff: Husband uses the dish towel to wipe some liquid off the kitchen floor.   ME: Dramatically snatching the towel away from him and storming down the basement stairs while lecturing him on the proper use of dish towels and how inconsiderate he is because now I have to do a load of laundry.

Big stuff: I hear a loud crash outside and when I look out the window, I see that the neighbors oak tree had fallen on BOTH of my cars smashing the hoods and headlights.   ME: I shrugged my shoulders, shook my head and proceeded to eat my delicious, freshly made salami sandwich. And my thought was, Now we'll have lots of good firewood.



Small stuff: Husband changes the oil in the car and forgets to put the cap back on so that when we stop to put gas in the car there is a burning smell.   ME: Flying out of the car crashing the door into the garbage can, running from the vehicle and yelling, "Is the car on fire Dave? Dave! Dave! Is the car on fire?!" as all the people in the gas station are looking at me like I have just escaped from the looney bin.

Big stuff: Vacationing in Arkansas having a family get together and husband is wake boarding. When he is finished he tries to get back in the boat and someone forgot to turn the motor completely off. The prop caught his leg. He pulls himself up the ladder and I can see his knee cap.   ME: I extended my hand to him with a towel ready and calmly said, "Come on honey, we have to get you to the nearest hospital. Have a seat right here, you're okay." He ended up with sixteen stitches on the inside of his knee and twenty-four on the outside. I got to watch the whole thing and even help. It was really cool.



Small stuff: "Uummm, where's my purple lighter? Dave! Did you take my purple lighter?"
"I don't think so," as he's digging in his pocket. "Oh wait, I guess I did."    ME: "Why?! Why do you have to take my shit? Is it so hard to put something back where you found it after you use it, especially when it's not yours? You're such a thief. You know it's hard to find that shade of purple." (Hey, stop judging me. I told you I have issues).

Big stuff: As I sit here and write this post, there is a persistent loud banging on the door. (I know what those knocks usually mean). I decide to answer it. A short, stout woman is standing there, she looks and sound like Mrs. Pool from The Hogan Family. "Hi, I have a summons here for you from Bank of America to appear in court on this day," she points with her pen. An immediate feeling of dread washed over me and I pictured my head exploding and then I thought, Oh well, I guess it's time to file bankruptcy, it's not the end of the world. I take the paper from her, she asks for my name, I give it to her and she tells me to have a good day. ME: I continue to sit here and finish my post, while knowing that soon I'm going to get a good paying writing gig and finish my WIP.


Small stuff: I see a wolf spider four feet away from me.   ME: Running and screaming, flailing my arms as if I'm being attacked by a swarm of bees.

Big Stuff: A bear approaches me at our camp site.   ME: I walk toward him waving my finger at him saying, "Oh, I don't thinks so Mr. Bear, you need to go find somewhere else to hang out. Now hit the road!"

Okay so I  made the last part up about the bear, but that's how I imagined it to be if that would have happened.

How about you guys? Am I the only one who sweats the small stuff? And why do you think that is?

Oh! I did get a good chapter idea out of  the whole incident. Ya know, the GPS being stolen.

Update: As I sat here ready to publish this post yet another knock at the door. It was a nice older gentleman holding the Garmin in his hand. I stared at him speechless. All I could say was, "How did you know it belonged here?"

"You put your home address in there. That was a smart thing to do."

We talked for minute and I asked him where he found it. It was down by the park on the ground. Him and his wife were walking the dog and there it was.

Strange. I guess I could sit here and ask why, but I have learned that asking why is a straight path to the insane asylum and I really don't need any more help with that.

Now I can only hope that the courts and banks are just as gracious.

Until next time...
~Live Happy

Back from the Wilderness

This is a long one, but here it is...

As some of you may know we took a trip to the Boundary Waters. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's water (lakes) between Minnesota and the Canadian border. We went to camp, fish, hike and be one with nature. I was skeptical (petrified) at first because everyone made such a big deal about the bears and the wildlife. 

We decided to take the car instead of our motorcycles because we had the teenager with us, which it turns out was for the better anyway...

This is what it did almost all the way there.

When we arrived on Wednesday morning, we met up with the rest of the family, Dave's two brothers and four kids between the two of them. So in all there were nine of us. We met with the couple who was outfitting us and they were wonderful. They remembered Dave and the family from the previous years that they stayed with them.

We were required to watch a video on what to do while we were out in the wilderness and then take a test in order to get a permit to go. Test?! WTF?!

The video was necessary to inform us of what to do when the bears came to our camp site, where to put the fish guts and heads after they were cleaned, what to do with our food while we were away and sleeping, and my favorite part, where and how to go to the latrine.

We passed the test after watching this insightful and educational video and went back to our home base to face our first challenge; loading the canoes with our gear and food. We had four canoes between the nine of us. As we were leaving, Doug, my brother-in-law, couldn't wait to show me what a wolf spider looked like. Unfortunately I have no pictures of this because I was too busy running, screaming and peeing my pants. Yes, I can be quite the sissy. Now I was not only afraid of a bear coming to eat me in the middle of the night, but afraid that I would be swarmed by these cat sized spiders.

After about two hours we pushed off and started to paddle. I had to keep looking back to see why we were going in circles and it turns out Dave would stop paddling to sneak his fishing pole in the water. "What? I was just casting one time to see if I get any bites." Yeah okay, ONE time.

We made it to our first portage where we had to unload and carry the canoes and all of our gear through the woods to the other lake so we could load up the boats and paddle again to the next portage and continue this process until we made it to our camp site. I carried the canoe on the second portage which was a mistake because it was 150 rods and mostly uphill. A rod is the length of a canoe.

Ain't nothin' like a smoke after carrying 800 pounds of gear uphill both ways in eighty degree heat. A cold Corona would have been nice too, but I tend to disappear when the alcohol hits my blood stream, so I had to settle for a Marlboro.

We made it to our camp site at about 7:30 p.m. Now, when I heard camp site, I was thinking camp site. Okay, well, what they really mean is a little piece of land about 8X10 in the middle of some really dense woods with no other human life form. What?! That's where we're staying? We're not all going to fit there! Are you guys out of your minds? Luckily I was with four crafty and quite experienced guys who had done this before. The theme of the week was, "Ah, it'll be fine, don't worry about it." This never seems to quell my fear, but it's the standard comment when I express my concerns.

Well, we did it. We fit all of our tents and this was our home for the next three days.

The view was also quite captivating.

"Ummm, hey guys? Where do we shower?"

"In the lake."

"Are you for serious?!"

"Uuhh, yep."

"Well, okay then, guess I'll be smelly."

"Hey Gina?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to see where you go the bathroom?"

"Sure."

Warning: This picture is not for the faint of heart

I quit drinking all liquids at this point and barely ate. Not to mention that it's all the way up into the woods away from the site. That was actually a good thing because, well, I'm sure you can figure that one out for yourself.

After our meals...

we had to figure out how we were going to hang our bins of food. Did I mention that out of that 800 pounds of gear, half of it was food? This wouldn't have been such a challenging task if any of the trees that we were surrounded by had some low branches, but unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

The guys spent close to an hour trying to throw a rope with a rock tied to the end of it over a flimsy tree branch that was about fifty feet up.

Once this was finally accomplished the guys got behind the rope and pulled. I was heaving the food up as to make it lighter for it's ascent.

Then I heard a loud crack. I didn't bother to look up,although that would have been the perfect Wiley  Coyote moment, I just let go of the food and ran like hell. It all came down including the guys.

This was what they came up with next...

While the guys were getting the food up in a tree, we would pump water through our little filtering system from the lake, or boil the water. This gave our water a nice smoked mesquite flavor. Mmm, Yum. 

Once the food was up we were able to go play in the waterfall and do some hiking...

and some fishing...

It was quite tasty after Dave marinated it in all of the special seasonings we concocted.

Did I tell you guys we were also lucky enough to experience a massive thunderstorm? It was great! We fashioned a mock gazebo for a gathering place to stay dry. Our tent leaked just a bit from the top though. I guess the fly can't handle that kind of rain, so we had to double tarp it which kept us nice and dry for the entire evening. Not one leak.

Three days after no shower. Luckily this isn't a scratch 'n sniff.

And here's the man after three days of not showering, in all his glory, my Indiana Jones/McGyver

The day finally came when we had to break camp and portage back to our home base. Finally! Woo Hoo! I was exhausted. After all of this, I was ready to see a bear but do you think they could have come to see me? Nope. Not one. I was ready to kick some ass and show no mercy. The scariest/wildest thing I saw was a wolf spider.

I have a hard time just relaxing into the unknown at first but my husband and brother-in-laws are great examples. I would go on any kind of adventure with these guys because they all have patience like I've never experienced and they're so calm, kind and understanding. Each of them have their own unique gifts and combined they're like a crazy cool super hero where anything can be accomplished and no situation is insurmountable. I couldn't have asked for a better family to have the honor of being a part of. They make everything fun and adventurous and they're game for anything at anytime. What more could I ask for?

Over all it was a fantastic trip and a great experience. I'd do it again, but I'd bring close to nothing next time...or almost close to nothing. I am a girl after all. 

Until next time...

~Live Happy 

Story Graveyard

Where do all of the unfinished stories go? Is there a story graveyard? Is there a place of limbo while they're being shelved for another day? All of the characters just sitting there waiting, wondering if we'll come back for them while we work on a fresh new story with new characters. Do they feel betrayed and cheated on? Do we ever get back to them?

Maybe I can take all of my unfinished work and recycle it. Give it some time to marinate while I work on a new project and if nothing comes within an alotted amount of time, I could pass it on to someone else who isn't so close to the story and maybe they could finish it. Seen from a fresh perspective maybe my darlings will have a chance to get out there in the world to be read and learned from.

Where is all of this coming from you ask? Well I'm glad you did.

As I was riding down Sheridan road the other day working on a local motorcycle travel article, Shay popped into my head and morphed into someone completely different. The story just came flowing out of me. It hasn't stopped since Wednesday. I have been writing writing like a mad woman and the new Shay is pretty damn cool. It's nothing I would have expected but it appears she didn't want to be what I wanted her to be. She is strong and confident, not confused and victimized. She has great style and doesn't care what anyone thinks. She doesn't worry about what will happen, she just takes risks and can't wait to see where it takes her. She has total trust in the process of life. And she has this one crazy, cool quirk that I simply love about her but I'll have to do some research on it because I don't know much about it. I'll fill you in on that when the story is a little more developed. I've got pages upon pages of ideas for chapters and I actually have a beginning and an end. I can sum up in a paragraph what it's about and all of the shiny details and back story are brewing as we speak. I guess what I'm doing is considered an outline. Never thought I'd do one of those.

On another note, I'm also taking a trip. I will be going to the Boundary Waters in Minnesota/Canada. I'm torn between  looking forward to it and not looking forward to it because I'm scared of bears and cold weather but I love adventure. But like what's his name said in the movie "Without A Paddle," I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to out run the people I'm with. (Hilarious movie by the way, one of my favorites).

I'll have pictures and hopefully some great adventurous stories to tell. But who knows.

Until next time...

~Live Happy

Where there is great doubt,

there will be great awakening;

small doubt, small awakening,

no doubt, no awakening.

~Zen saying

I think my brain is melting

Happy Tuesday to all my wonderful friends. It is Tuesday right? Well, I think I jinxed myself by talking about my neighbors because since I posted that it's been cold and rainy here. No opportunities to even sit outside in my lush-ness. I have been pent up inside my house for a few days now and not very happy about it.

I do my best to keep my spirits up but the weather really affects me. I just read a blog that had an interesting way to keep her juices flowing and I seriously think I'm going to try it. She listens to music and keeps glow sticks around the house. If you have to ask what the glow sticks are for, let's just skip it.

I have also been reading another blog lately and she breaks writing down into such simple steps that it actually makes it enjoyable to try these new ideas.  The newbies should check it out or maybe those of you that are looking for something new.

I have started to kind of revise my WIP only because I became stuck. Stuck for too long. I felt that I was far enough through to go back to the beginning to do some editing and revising. Besides, what did I have to lose? It has helped to get me excited again and I've changed things up just a bit. I swear it feels like this thing is never going to be finished.But I will persevere no matter.

Yesterday was a blow off. I had nothing. I mean n-o-t-h-i-n-g! So I decided to paint. I had to force myself through the resistance. I am so glad I did though because I love what I did to the box yesterday. And as a result I got a well spring of ideas. Unfortunately not for writing but enough to finish this piece.

I'm finding this is usually what happens to me. I get excited and things are flowing and I am able to write and write and write. Then...I run out ink or something. And then I check my e-mails obsessively to see if anyone has sent me anything new, or I check to see if anyone critiqued my chapter, or to see if I have any new followers and when I find nothing, I get a tad bummed. My head can take me to strange and daunting places sometimes. I'm just sayin'.

I am also reading piles upon piles of books. I'm reading to read, but I'm also reading to learn about structure. This was suggested to me by a fellow blogger and probably my best internet friend (Terry), so I have been making notes in my books and highlighting like crazy. Oh well, I guess it can't be fun all the time...

The Neighbors

I love to sit outside and work, especially now that it's gorgeous and my garden is in place and the trees are trimmed. But here's the downfall of having neighbors that you actually have a relationship with. First of all, I don't like them seeing me like this because I don't shower until about 2:30 before Dave gets home and I wear my pajamas most of the time to work from home here. I fear that my neighbors will think I'm really just some lush who kicks 'em back all day.

Now, they all know I'm writing a book. They know I work from home, but I don't think they grasp the full scope of a groove for us writers. As they shouldn't. It wouldn't be so bad if they just waved or said a quick "Hello, how ya doin'." But this isn't the case here in Wildwood. I find myself hiding from the neighbors during a weekday as to avoid an hour long conversation. The guy to the left of me is like eighty-five years old and as wonderful as he is, I tire quickly of our little chats. He can barely see and is somewhat hard of hearing, but quite the spunky, savvy little man none the less. His wife is ill and he does his best to take care of her and nurse her to wellness. I adore them both, but avoid them at all costs during the week.

My neighbor on the other side of me is Korean and has a hard time speaking English, which is fine with me. We communicate pretty well. She is always bringing me lettuce and tomatoes from her garden and giving me tips on how to tend to my vegetables. She's very knowledgeable in this area. She goes into the lot that lies between her house and mine. It's empty and the people who own it don't come by to take care it, so we, the community, do what we can to maintain it. The Korean neighbor puts on her little straw hat and gardening gloves, grabs her basket and goes out to the lot to pick wild flowers for salad or tea or something. You would think she's in a vast field out in the country somewhere the way she sets out to do her daily tasks of picking berries. She then comes to me handing me what looks like a nasty weed and says, "Here, you eat." I squinch up face and say, "Eat it?" She shakes her head and says, "Yea, you put in bowl and eat on lettuce," as she goes through the motions of putting something to your lips and eating. I say okay and try to walk away. But she insists on standing there, looking in my garden and asks me what is growing. "Mostly weeds," I tell her. She says, "Oh, not good, you pull." Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it...or not. "Okay," I tell her and walk away quickly because I was just in a groove. I'm dreading going back to the computer because I have completely lost my train of thought and the emotion that was driving me.

And then...going out to get the mail is like a recon mission. I have to peek out the windows to make sure no one is out there and open the door to look around even further down the road and almost run to the end of the driveway and back without it looking like I'm a mental patient that is trying to escape.

I'm friends with the across the street neighbors too. And not just one of them, all of them, for at least five houses in a row. Not only that, but I'm still in my lush attire. Do I really need to go get the mail you ask? Well, yes, some days I do because I am probably waiting for a book that I ordered on line or some unnecessary part for my bike.

But in all, it's a pretty glorious and charmed life, I must say. There are so many good things that outweigh this one minor hindrance, so I'm not complaining, I'm just sayin'.

There is definitely a book in here somewhere. This neighborhood is the perfect place to be written about.

~Live Happy