There is an art to being a woman

Warning: This may be a long post.

Here's what's on my mind; I try to imagine a world where women actually accept men for being men and not try to change them into women.

If you think about it, we are very different, but I'm pretty sure this is for good reason. Think about it. Physically; We are different. If we weren't, we probably wouldn't fit together, right?And that would really suck!
So why is it that we try and change men emotionally? Or what his obligations are around the house? Yes, it drives me crazy when he doesn't put his clothes down the laundry chute; or when he puts his work boots on before he walks out the door and almost every morning, forgets something and walks through the house tracking dry mud all over the place; Or when he puts his cereal bowl in the sink without running water into it so that when I go to put it in the dishwasher I have to actually scrub it anyway and now it doesn't need to go in the dishwasher; Or how about when he wants to go in the garage and tinker with all of his broken, rusted parts and fix things, when I would really like the yard work to get done?

He's a man and I'm a woman. We are different! He will not think the way I think, he will not process things the way I do, he will not care as much as I do about cleanliness and organization, and he sure as shit doesn't care to sit and listen to me bitch about what the neighbor did that pissed me off as soon as he gets home from work; or ever for that matter. This is not personal. This does not mean he doesn't care about me or respect me and the way I feel.It means he's a man. I'm not a lesbian, so why would I want to turn him into a woman?

Here's the way I see it. I would rather take the seven seconds it will take me to throw the laundry down the chute myself. I have to sweep daily anyway because of the animals and kids, I just do it after he leaves in the morning. I'll run water in the bowl and let it sit for a few minutes and then out it in the dishwasher. He can tinker and I'll do some yard work. What's the big fuckin' deal, really? It takes more time and energy for me to be pissed off and then take the time to lecture him about how he really doesn't respect me and care about me than it would to do just do these things myself. Who cares? Is it really worth all the stress and tension that creates. Then he's feeling totally emasculated and unable to show any sort of love the way a man knows how and even if he did we're too pissed off to receive any kind of love in this state of un-grace and this is how things get so fucked up. It just snowballs from there.

Then we want to form all kinds of segregated groups that exclude men and then proceed to bash them while at these womanly events. Really? Why can't we all just get along? If we tried to make every puzzle piece the same...do I have to finish the sentence? It wouldn't form a bigger more beautiful picture.

Imagine this; we allow the men to be men and we allow ourselves the freedom of happiness too. If you want all that work done around the house and in a particular way, then do it. I'm all for women wanting all the rights that men have and becoming independent and making all the money, but that's the woman's choice. So if you as a woman make that choice, it doesn't become an immediate obligation to the man to now pick up the slack because of a choice that you made. How on earth does any of this madness allow for freedom, happiness, and sex to happen?

There is an art to being a woman. If we weren't at such odds with our men, we wouldn't have such a need for all of these women cliques. I'm not saying we can't hang with just the girls and have good time, what I'm talking about is the deliberate segregation.

I am not saying I haven't been this woman, because I have. But, I have seen the difference in letting go and accepting him for who he is exactly the way he is. He doesn't need to be trained. He already had a mom. We are both here because we want to be and when he does things, it's because he wants to. I don't want him doing something because he is afraid I will be mad at him. I want him to do it because he wants to. If he flirts or is flirted with, well good, then he knows he's still got it and I get ALL the rewards.(And so does he).
We don't have to be so serious all the time or even half the time.

I think it was Einstein that said, 'Men marry women with the hope they will never change.Women marry men with the hope they will change.' Ha!