While writing this novel, I have questioned what I am doing a few bazillion times, but I keep forging through. I have gotten so many wonderful suggestions and have tried them all, or, well, most of them. The best advice I have received so far, in hindsight, is just write the damn story. Just write. And every time I get that suggestion, it's exactly what I do. This is how I have gotten as far as I have.
I keep changing my mind about how I want my first novel to be so I have three different stories going all with the same theme. There is one in particular that I keep going back to. So, I decided to put everything I have written in order. I have found that what works for me is to write what comes to my mind that day. Forcing myself to write in order wasn't working, not at this point anyway. Maybe as I get more seasoned that tactic might bode well.
When I write, I write furiously and nothing else exists on this planet. After I finish emptying my brain onto the page, I think about the frame and then title the chapter so that I know what it's about. I had no idea what I was doing, and still don't, but as I have gone through, I can actually see order. It is making more and more sense as I move forward. Like I said before, some of the characters decided that what I was writing wasn't doing them justice, so they did their own thing and I'm grateful they did and that I allowed them to do so.
This process can make me feel as if I should be committed from time to time, but it's definitely worth it and as I go through it, I see more clearly than I did before.
Of course I have moments where I am completely mortified by the realization that after all of this, there is that HUGE possibility that no one will want to read this thing. It's those moments that I begin the endless spiral toward an emotional breakdown. It happened this week. And although it feels as if I got next to nothing done this week, in my defense, I was interrupted by my sadistic side.
For the week, I have an estimate of about 6,000 words into the novel. Not a lot I know, seeing as some days I can jam out 8,000, but it is what it is.
I worked on my box, chest, whatever you want to call it, either way it has "other" connotations, and I'm just not happy with it. The curtains still aren't finished and the ideas aren't coming to me. It's frustrating. So what I'm thinking, is I may put that one aside for a minute and start on another piece.
Part of the problem is that I work so much better under extreme pressure and this whole freedom thing is tripping me up a bit. I have tried to trick my little sadist by giving it a fake deadline, but she's too smart for that. So I will continue to just learn as I go and confront the evil little troglodytes as they pop up.
Well, as much as I would love to ramble on and on I have a smelly dog to bathe. Happy Saturday.
~Live Happy
OMG I can so identify with what you said about writing. I too am dealing with the same issues. Maybe the we have to be crazy and fighting demons to be writers.
ReplyDeleteThanks for recently following me.
I can SO relate to your writing frustration. I have so many ideas threaded through my novels, it simply makes my head spin. Then again, I probably bit off more than I could chew by writing a series.
ReplyDeleteSaying that however, having a break away from your MS may be a good idea. Give the brain time to recharge. That's what I did. I called it giving my head an enema!!
I came back with a fresh perspective, which has kept the demons away - for now...
Keep at it, G~. You write well. And I look forward to seeing your name scribbled down the back of a book spine someday :)
I like the chest! Whenever I've worked on a project be it a book or a website, I try not to worry if people are going to want to read it or be a part of it. I've had things go great and I've also had major flops. When something flops, I try not to feel bad (for too long), but I try to figure out why it didn't work and move on. The main thing is to never quit trying.
ReplyDeleteI have the same frustrations when it comes to writing. And I keep wanting to change ideas, or voices of the characters. And then I remember what my grandfather told me. JUST WRITE. Leave the rest for an editor!
ReplyDeleteahh.
ReplyDeletei totally understand.
it's so hard sometimes to convince yourself to keep moving or to adhere to a deadline when no such deadline exists. (and then all those creeping thoughts of, "well im just wasting my time" and "none of my friends are doing this" and "maybe i should just stick to my dayjob" start bombarding you.)
the truth: i was thinking ALL of these things not two days before my agent offered me representation. just goes to show -- even if you think you're crazy, you can still be awesome.
hang in there. i promise it gets easier.
<3333
Teresa ~ It's nice to know I'm not alone.
ReplyDeleteDL ~ Thanks for stopping by
Wendy ~ Thank you for the encouragement. It means so much and I sooo look forward to seeing my name on the back of a book spine myself.
Marty ~ 'The main thing is to never quit trying.'
I'm reading a book on that very same principle right now. It's a great read. Thank you.
Mel ~ I love your grandfather. ;)
Tahereh ~ 'Even if you think you're crazy, you can still be awesome.' I love that! That's my new mantra. And thank you for sharing your positive experience.
I love him too!
ReplyDelete"This process can make me feel as if I should be committed from time to time, but it's definitely worth it and as I go through it, I see more clearly than I did before."
ReplyDeleteI totally LOLed! I guess all of us crazy writers should be committed. At least it'll be a fun place to be! Keep on keeping on! You are doing GREAT!!! And please, keep telling us about your process because you have no clue how much it helps all of us. Really.
If you don't want that chest, I'll take it. It's awesome, and you're not even done with it!
XOXOXOXO
I've had the opposite problem, my first instinct is to just sit down and write. Then 10,000 words in, I have no idea what's going on. So now I'm getting everything all mapped out and hopefully *fingers crossed* I will finish a novel in the next couple of months. But yes, sometimes I feel like no one is going to read any of my stuff. That's why I'm glad I have my writing group, they have to read it! Ha!
ReplyDeleteI can identify with you also, like everybody else, when I was in writing my master thesis, I had so many ideas in how I wanted to focus the writing part of my research, and sometimes I don't even knew what I was writing, it takes time and effort to decide what will be your line, but you will make it.
ReplyDelete"http://lesanchez.blogspot.com"
Roland ~ Thank you for your encouraging and inspirational comment, it is much appreciated. I went over to your blog and I absolutely love it. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteMel ~ ;~}
RC ~ It would be fun place! Could you imagine? A looney bin full of writers? The greatest stories ever would come from that.
There's a story in there somewhere.
Hannah ~ That's how this thing started. Just a bunch of words in no particular order. Then I decided about 40,000 words in that I would organize. Now it's back down to 31,000 after today.
I have got to find a face to face writing group in my area.
Laura ~ How did the thesis turn out? What subject did you finally decide to write about?
Just keep writing, and eventually you will find what works for you.
ReplyDeleteI like the chest.
I'm such a creature of habit that it has never dawned on me to just write scenes, chapters, whatever as I feel them. I've always gone in order and wonder why I can't seem to get past a certain point. You may have just solved one of my biggest problems. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI want to come to the looney bin full of writers! As long as YOU and RC will be there!!
ReplyDelete