It turns out it has been nice enough all week so that the poop that has accumulated in my back yard was sun dried enough to finally pick up. Yay! And I wanted to get it picked up before the next snow. It snowed last November and my yard has been covered in a two foot blanket of snow up until last week.
I put on my picking up poop shoes, double wrapped my hand in Jewel bags, and grabbed an extra one to put the poop in. Well it turns out that I needed a 13 gallon garbage bag to hold all the dried up white turds.
I forged into the battle field and the shit was abundant. I would put the bag down, bend over and scoop. As I was dropping the duty into the bag, I would see another pile out of my peripheral vision. I would pivot my foot and turn without standing up. This went on until the area I could reach without moving the bag was entirely poop free. I would stand and scope out my next site, which was only two steps away. And I repeated this process for about an hour. There was poop everywhere I looked! It seemed to go on for miles.
I would tip toe around the yard walking slowly and quietly, with my infra-poop goggles, so I could do a sneak attack on any left over doggie muffins in the yard.
The task finally ended and I had to double bag the garbage bag. Lifting it into the big can was no small feat let me tell you. I'm just under five foot four and the can's opening is almost that. So to lift a fifty pound bag of shit without a big scene was quite the art form. Mission accomplished. Thanks for stopping by.
I would have put a picture up for you but I didn't want to over do it. Plus, it gets your imagination muscles working. ;)
Well, that was a ... err ... most unexpected ... post. It must have been a shitty day! Sorry couldn't resist....
ReplyDeleteI was in need of a good laugh. Thanks :)
When life hands you a sack of shit you,er, um, put it in the garbage?
ReplyDeleteHiliarious post. Thanks for cheering me up after a long and stressful day. :)
When life hands you a bag of shit...chuck it in the garbage can!
ReplyDeleteToday's life lesson. :)
Ha ha ha! A laugh out loud post dedicated to dog shit! I love it! Thanks for the larf!
ReplyDelete"I put on my picking up poop shoes"
ReplyDeleteAnd what KIND of shoes are those? Sneakers? High Heels?
Ahahahahahah
xoxoxoxo
Congrats on having a poop free back yard!
hahaha, I don't think you need to put a picture, it was very graphic your description, ahhhh, the things we do for our pets.
ReplyDelete"http://lesanchez.blogspot.com"
Wendy ~ It ended up being a pretty good day despite the crap. ;)
ReplyDeleteYes Terry, we put it in the garbage. Sounds good to me. Dontcha think?
DL ~ I think that's a pretty profound lesson, and all in a days work.
Marty ~ Larf! That's awesome!
Mel ~ I have picking up poop shoes, working in the yard shoes, painting shoes, etc... That's my kind of high fashion. All different types of gym shoes.
The high heels are reserved for... working on the corner shoes. ;)
Laura ~ The pets own us. I mean really? Who else do you follow around on a leash, with a bag in your pocket, waiting for the dog to crap so you can be right there to pick it up?
Hopefully, just the dog.
Nice post! I liked fact that this post is so true, best work yet! And the uhh... "The high heels are reserved for... working on the corner shoes. ;)" real nice, mom.
ReplyDeleteHi, just dropped in from Blogging Women. I'm enjoying your blog. I don't live in a snow state so there is no excuse for not picking up the poop doodie. I should have done it this morning, but I didn't. And the lawn dude suffers.
ReplyDeleteI'm jealous of your poop free yard. With 3 dogs, we decided this year just to hire petyard pickup to do a spring cleanup for us. I'm still waiting for them to contact me with a quote.
ReplyDeleteEverybody poops...and somebody has to pick it up. When we get our dog, which will probably be sometime this summer, I will consult you. It sounds like you have a lot of experience dealing with poop. I am going to bookmark this post and refer back to it as "Poop 101."
ReplyDelete;-)
We have a similar situation in our garage/cat store...it's a long story. Anyway, they get tired of pooping in the litter boxes, so the next best thing is the floor behind our broken Jeep. I've kindly let my hubby know that the outside poop is his job...inside I can handle.
ReplyDeleteAh ha!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jianna-Rae!
ReplyDeleteEb ~ I'm glad you're enjoying it.
The snow gives me a break from poop duty, but I'd rather be in a state with warm weather all the time. Poor lawn dude.
Falen ~ I feel your pain. I had three dogs at one time and now we're down to one.
RC ~ Me and my post are honored to be bookmarked as "Poop 101". I'm glad I can be of use.
Kellie ~ Yeah, me and the guy take turns with the all the 'crap' there is to do. It works out nicely.
Mel ~ thanks for checking for a response. It's good to know I'm not wasting good ink here.
I always check for reply comments!
ReplyDeletexoxoox
LMAO!! What do I love more than poop jokes?! POOP POSTS!! hahahahaha!!
ReplyDeletewhat a day... that is totally a pooping day after all :> anyway chill because it was a long overdue worthwhile activity of yours.
ReplyDeleteMel ~ I'll keep that in mind.
ReplyDeletePal ~ I'm glad my adventures in poop scooping can make you laugh.
Kathy ~ Yes, it was loooong over due and definitely worthwhile.
I certainly don't miss that part of owning a dog..it is a dog that you're cleaning up after a Yak or something?
ReplyDeleteAnother thing about the Spring thaw or (we say things unthaw here)
is that all of those piles of poop that the bad owners left on their Winter walks are exposed...makes me so mad. We put a GPS tag in our pets now, maybe they should have poop tags that sattelites can trace..then city workers can trace the poop back to the address of the owner and throw it against the front of their f%#$@ house!
It snowed today..3 days ago it was up to 12C (50ish American) and I was wearing a T shirt raking leaves in a snowless backyard
:(
ps thanks for the visit, I may never post again but I still visit.
Aw, poop; it's really a great subject. My dad was fond of discussing poop at the dinner table (either that or farts). But dog poop -- that's another story. You are a very brave writer & I bow down to you for it.
ReplyDeleteI included a fart scene in my book, but this is even better. Nobody writes about the job of picking up poop! You are perhaps a genius.
See ya,
NFS - The Retired Biker Housewife