So far this morning I have pounded out another 3,000 words to what may be an entirely useless chapter in my novel. I started out by writing a formal bio for Shay's boyfriend Jake so I could post it here for you guys, but then I sidetracked myself by being inspired to write in the actual novel. It can be quite draining because I mix in my own personal experience with Shay and then I start to think,
Am I going to offend someone by writing this? What if they know that I'm referring to them in my novel? Then I have to steer myself in the direction of simply not caring at this point. I'll worry about all that when it's finished. I'll revise as necessary. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing else I'd rather be doing, well, maybe plunging my toilet but this is truly what I want, no matter how daunting it may be at times. It's stuff like this that makes me think I'd be more fit to work at Starbucks or something. But then I come back into reality and realize I don't like people all that much and I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. I was born with no filter and it seems that science has not quite gotten around to learning how to install them. You would think they'd get on that shit seeing as how it's such a common defect with people. So for the time being I know this is what I am meant to do.
On another note, I have been vigilant about writing and envisioning what my success will look like and for the most part it's been great. But there are some days when, and I know this sounds silly, it's just too much effort to pull myself from the dreggs of the quicksand that is my mind. Sometimes I just want to sit in my shit. I allow this for about fifteen minutes and then I force myself to write about my dream life. It eventually turns out well and I feel better and more inspired. I may break and go paint my furniture, which is also turning out better than I thought. Here's a picture of the top of the chest, the lid, I have started working on. It's no where near finished, but it's also a work in progress.
Or I do this. (Blog) This is my break from the fierce suction of emotion that Shay can take from me on occasion. This chapter in particular is her reminiscing about her childhood days. Phew! Can we get some happy going here? I'm trying to figure out how to make it a little lighter a bit more humorous.
Any suggestions?
Unfortunately, I have no suggestions. As you know, writing my novel damn near killed me for many of the same reasons you cite: It was all a little too autobiographical.
ReplyDeleteBut, and it's a big but, once I made it through, I felt a kind of relief I hadn't felt before. It was more cathartic than I had hoped. So hang in there and get it down on paper. You'll feel better when you're done -- and Shay will finally be free.
On happy note: Awesome pic on the dresser. Did you draw that? Wow. And where is the top pic from? It looks like you're in a coffee shop or someplace like that.
I have no idea how to make things humorous. I have zero sense of humor when I write. I'm all dark and twisty.
ReplyDeleteI love that table! And will expect in on my doorstep post haste!
About content and referring to other people, eh, let people wonder and over analyze. You're writing for you! I used to be worried about what people would think about what I write and then I realized, most of the people I was worried about don't even read! Ha!
I rarely put myself in my writing. Maybe a random thought I had one time but no more than that. I'm just too laid back and I have some interesting stories about my life but when I try to write them down...not so much. They are much better verbally so I can gesticulate. Isn't that the best word? It sounds dirty but it's not! I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. You know how you get in the groove of typing no matter what you're talking about. And you just have this stream of consciousness that won't let you stop typing?
I have to stop now. Whew! Sorry about that!
Terry ~ I was afraid you were going to say something like that, but only because I know it's the truth.
ReplyDeleteThank you and yes, I drew it and then painted over it.
The top picture is me in my kitchen working away, well the dining area of the kitchen. I paint when I need inspiration, but all my walls are done which is why I had to move on to the furniture. My entire house is bright colors and a coffee shop setting. I'll post pictures of my back room later. It's the most recently renovated, no wait, my hall bathroom is as of last weekend, but I have to love where I am so I keep adding and taking away.
Pal ~ That is something I never thought about. They probably won't even read it! What a load off my shoulders. Thanks.
I think once I get this story out, my writing will entail less and less of myself, I'm hoping...
Thank you for loving the lid, who knows when I'll finish. And i love the zone of writing. Feel free to do it anytime. I love reading that shit. It puts me in a reading zone.
Can you give Shay a few humorous quirks? Maybe OCD related? You can use some of mine if you like: When I get depressed I try to remember the entire who's on first routine, I can never remember it, but it always cheers me up. Also if I see a penny on the street or anywhere I keep it and and it to my lucky penny collection if the little pocket in my jeans. Whenever things are going bad I rub them for good luck. Anyway, just a thought. Quirky can be good for characters, for me at least. Also great work on the lid! Can't wait to see it all done. Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteHey Marty ~ She's got a couple, one of which is she's a professional sunflower seeder. She can pop a handful in her mouth, crack each one individually and spit the shell while storing the uneaten seeds in one cheek. When she's de-shelled all of them she can enjoy a mouthful of seeds.
ReplyDeleteI think you should go with your heart always, it doesn't matter if you offend somebody with your writing, because at the end it is what you think and what you feel, and if you don't do it, you will think later, "what if I would have done it", so follow your heart, because you are very talented.
ReplyDelete"http://lesanchez.blogspot.com"
Laura - you're exactly right. Thank you so much. ;)
ReplyDeleteOkay, that is IT. Now I know we MUST BE related.
ReplyDelete"But then I come back into reality and realize I don't like people all that much and I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. I was born with no filter and it seems that science has not quite gotten around to learning how to install them"
HELLO. That is ME you're talking about!
I am THRILLED to hear your working so hard on your novel and visualizing your success.
I have also revisited my novel in progress and my god I really need to buckle down and focus.
Mel~ I'll race ya.
ReplyDeleteoh, I'm dumb! Now I really like that drawing because it's on a chest! I want it seriously.
ReplyDeleteThe Hubby and I always come to a point in raising our kids when we have no clue what to do where we say, "If it's really hard, then it's the right thing to do." I think that is also true of writing. When you feel like you'd rather have a root canal without anesthesia, then write what you feel has to be written...you're on the right track. If you have not already read, Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott then stop what you are doing now and go get it. NOW! If you have read it, pick it up and turn to page 6. You'll see that what you described as "...it's just too much effort to pull myself from the dreggs of the quicksand that is my mind," is something we, as writers, must go through. And it sucks. Then turn to page 20 and you see that you don't have to be so hard on yourself because you are embarking on one of the most difficult journeys a person can take. You want to communicate something inside of you that HAS to come out but you have to let it, and sometimes that more difficult than sending a man to the moon.
ReplyDeleteJust keep writing, just keep writing. *Dori is everyone's friend.* ;-)
P.S. THANK YOU!! THANK YOU!! For writing the review on Amazon.com. You have no idea what that means to me.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I like your blog, so I'm returning the following favor ;-)
ReplyDelete~JD
Deal! I'll race you!
ReplyDeleteOh, but don't forget to schedule some FUN time for you too. I know that if I don't give myself breaks to enjoy living life, I get really burnt out on writing.
:)
Justine ~ Thank you. Glad you're here.
ReplyDeleteMel ~ You're on! Ready...Set...GO!
Great blog, am a follower! Love the pics, too!
ReplyDeleteListen, no Anne Rice me--but my advice is to just write!
Talk to your muses, sort your brain out. Say, "Look guys! I am writing this story. I just want to focus on my story and getting it down. Then I'll polish it up. If you want to lay any guilt on me about anything--you're going to have to wait. The story comes first!"
Now, since they love you and want the best for you, they will understand!
Go for it! JUST GO FOR IT! all the best!
Great advice Carol, thank you. Glad you're here.
ReplyDeleteI have the opposite problem. I can't write deeply emotional scenes without inserting humor somewhere. I think that's because I'm that way in life. If things get too serious, I have to crack a joke. I can't take the pressure of too much abyss. I had enough of that crap in my first 25 years of life. It's time to move on for me.
ReplyDeleteLOVING the table. The theatre masks are one of my favorite images.
Oh, how I've always longed to be so artistic. I'm envious.
ReplyDeleteAs for your WIP, I think it's perfectly natural to insert a part of yourself in all of your stories, all of your characters. And we seem to be more connectted to certain stories as well. Perhaps the process will be a bit cathartic for you in the end. I say with the first draft, remove your filter altogether. Just write the story that longs to be written, and clean up the mess in the editing process. But how nice to have something like your art to take your mind off things when it gets a bit too frustrating.
Love that Marilyn Monroe quote, btw. Drew me in entirely. It feels like an apt description of my world view as well. Now a follower ;)
I think it's okay to take days off. I used to go through days where I felt so bad when I wasn't writing, but worse when I did. I finally gave myself permission to take time off, and I'm much happier.
ReplyDeleteYou have more stamina than I do. I was hoping to get into the habit of writing every day. I've been trying to do this for about a month now. I always seem to come up shy by 2 days.
ReplyDelete